Computer and TV rules at your house

Blows my mind how many people let their kids have TVs and computers in their rooms. Seriously, there is no possible good than can come of it. Then again, most of the people I know who do this are more worried about their kids thinking mom and dad are cool than about being a truly good parent.

Not my place to tell anyone how to raise their kids, but it doesn't stop me from thinking to myself that they are damn fools for giving unfettered access to these things.

 

Who knew that one could be a social outcast because you were not allowed to sit alone in your room and send messages insted of, you know, joining a club or a sports league and going out and actually being with people?

 

How about it, huh?

Have you been around many 20-somethings the last few years? I swear some of their brains are fried. I don't think I'm a, "Get off my lawn!" type. But I find that they have difficulty sustaining small talk, for example. I'll walk by young people and they don't make eye contact and say, "Hello." Their social life is very, very much centered around screens large and small.

 

In a weird reversal of sorts, we've actually had to make computer rules -- well, one rule -- for my 73-year-old mom: Don't open unsolicited e-mails from people you don't know! I knew she was on her way to a virus when I started getting Viagara e-mails forwarded from her. At least I think that's what was going on.

My nephews are 3 and almost 6. The 3-year-old knows he isn't supposed to touch his parents' 'pooter, and the 5-year-old's kindergarten class is getting an iPad. I don't even have a goddamn iPad.

 

BINGO!!

this 'you-can't get-thru-h.s. without a computer in your room,' or your own laptop, is total b.s./rationalization by parents who choose not to fight with their kids. we've got three boys (almost 21, almost 18, almost 16) who have ALWAYS been good students without either. sure, there's a family computer in our main level 'office/guest room', adjacent to our master bedroom, which the kids use for research, homework, projects, etc.

our sons have gone through a highly-regarded school system; our eldest is shining at the top state university; middle son is on the verge of choosing from among maryland's honors college, ithaca, syracuse (newhouse), delaware, and possibly cornell and northwestern, and little boy shockey is a soph pulling similar grades.

all while never having a tv or any computer in their rooms. now, i'm sure their are many cases in which a child or teenager has both in his/her bedroom and does wonderfully as well.

to each parent his own, for sure, when it comes to parental decisions. but it's interesting that i've never once heard a parent lament, 'oh, man, did i make a mistake by never letting my kids have a tv or computer in their room,' while i've often heard parents admit giving their kids a tv and computer in their room was their biggest mistake in child-rearing -- and other instances in which said tv/computer was taken out of the kid's room when the grades and/or behavior began to spiral downward.

 

I must be a shit parent, because my kids have TVs in their rooms, my 13-year-old has a laptop, my 13-year-old and 11-year-old have iPod touches, and all my kids have (or have had) Nintendo DSs, or whatever the plural of that is. And they all know how to work the iPad.

And yet, and I feel compelled to brag because of the extremely broad assertions being made on this board, that my kids get excellent grades (mostly, or all, A's), and have never been a behavior problem at school. My kindergartner, we were just informed, is going to take reading tests for books she reads -- on her own. The kids have friends, and they talk to people as if it were no big thing.

I would never assert that all of this is BECAUSE they have TV in their rooms, or assert my kids were good if they didn't. Parenting is more complicated than that. So are children. Certainly, we don't just throw them to the technological wolves -- we do try to impart some knowledge on how best to use this stuff, and what we expect is appropriate.

If you think me a damn fool for being this way, then perhaps I am.

 

Televisions and video games in a kid's room aren't the end of the world.

Failing to set parameters, be communicative with your kids and be active (to degrees) in what they're watching or surfing on the Internet is what helps lead to problems.

 

nope, you're not necessarily a fool. it's all about knowing your children; as i said, we know kids with tv/computer in their rooms who are every parent's dream. but for every parent, such as yourself, who takes pride in how their kids are thriving with tv/computer bedrooms, there is another parent who doesn't know their kids as well, or are blind to the scam, and regret ever allowing jack or sally to have those privileges.

and when friends have asked me for advice on this issue i explain my feelings and always end with, 'you should know your kids better than anyone else. only you can gauge whether they are mature enough to handle the luxuries you give them.'

you should be very proud of your children, who obviously have caring parents. sadly, not every child has earned the privileges they're given. and the parents of those children are the ones i hear bitching about it all the time.

only word of caution i have for bob cook is that your kids are still relatively young. now, in all likelihood they will continue to make you proud -- but it's not until the h.s. years that many kids come into their own regarding rebellion, response to more type of kids, and testing independence.

best of luck and god bless all my parenting brothers and sisters. this stuff is by far the most difficult and challenging we'll ever face. and the most important...

 

My kids do not have TVs or computers in their rooms, but they both have laptops and those things are portable.

I'd rather they have it in their room than lying around on the floor, as usual, to be honest.

 

just curious, ace: how old are your children? and why do they need laptops?

 

14 and 16.

Homework.

Inappropriate Drake music on Itunes.

Downloading seasons of House and such.

At this point, they are bigger than your average molester, so I'm not to worried on that account.

 

It is interesting to me how much the conversation, here and other places, ventures into concerns about predators, molesters, pornography, and so forth.

I am not nearly as concerned about that as I am about raising (and becoming) an uber-distracted, ADD-stricken, chronic multi-tasker.

It seems like most people, however, are less concerned with that as they are with protecting their kids from smut and predators.

Not judging. Just observing.