Companies that have screwed you

Telus Communications

 

http://www.scrooscoop.com

 

Bank of America.

About two months ago, I had a bunch of checks I had to deposit before I took a two-day trip out of town. The biggest one was drawn on BOA. So I figured the check would clear right away or, at the worst, at noon the next day. No. According to the douchebag on the phone, the check wouldn't clear until midnight TWO days later...i.e. Wednesday at midnight for a check deposited on Monday.

Me: "But your policy is the check is available for withdrawal on the next business day."
Douchebag: "Yes. It is."
Me: "But today is Monday. Wednesday is Wednesday. That's two days away."
Douchebag: "Yes but your funds are available on the next business day."
Me: "That's impossible. Wednesday is TWO business days away. That means I can't have access to my money all day Tuesday. That's the next business day."
Douchebag (after a few seconds of silence): "You can have access to your money on Wednesday at midnight. That's one business day."

Fucking shitfucks.

On the same trip, I had to deal with Bank of America over my MasterCard account. As you probably know, BOA, in its quest to take over the fucking world, bought up MasterCard a year or two ago. As a result, they inherited my debt to MasterCard that I racked up when I was unemployed in 2000 and 2001.

I'd made a deal with MasterCard in April '05 in which I got a zero percent interest in exchange for making an automated payment every month. This would square my debt away within 36 months. I was told the agreement would remain in effect as long as I didn't welch on my end...and since the $$$ was coming directly from my account, I was pretty confident I wouldn't screw it up.

So imagine my surprise when BOA called me in February and said I'd lapsed. I called BOA and was told I hadn't made a payment since October. I said that's impossible, that I have a deal in place with you guys that calls for a certain amount of money to be withdrawn on the same day every month. "No," said shitfucker, "that deal lapsed."

Me: "That's impossible. I was told that deal was good as long as I held up my end of the bargain. I haven't done anything wrong."
Shitfucker: "No that deal lapsed in October 2006. The deal was only good for one year."
Me: "Then why did it go from April 2005 to October 2006?"
Shitfucker: *silence*
Me: "And why has it taken you so long to get in touch with me?"
Shitfucker: *silence*
So we went back and forth and I told this guy I wasn't doing anything other than my previous deal: $300-something a month at zero percent interest. He asked me what I make per month and what expenses I have and all that crap. After we ran thru that list, he said he couldn't get me the zero percent interest because, basically, the sum of my income minus my expenses was greater than the $300-something. So basically, I should just assume that any extra money WON'T be needed, that I'll NEVER have a surprise expense, and commit ALL my leftover money to you fucks.

I didn't think this could get any more insulting, but it did. The guy says the only zero percent interest deal he can offer me is a deal in which I pay more than $1K a month for the next six months and the account will be closed. That wouldn't completely square away my account and it would remain on my record that I closed the account instead of paid if off in full. So I did the math...and realized that if I did this, I'd be about $1K shy of PAYING OFF THE DEBT IN FULL. So I said "Why should I do that? If I'm going to pay you this much per month for six months just to almost finish paying it off, why wouldn't I pay you the same amount for one more month to finish it off?"

"Uhh well this is the only deal I can offer you."

I said that's bull and I'm not doing any deal other than the one I had earlier. I asked to speak to a supervisor and after the usual song and dance, I got a zero percent interest rate in exchange for paying a bit more than I'd paid under the previous agreement. And this is only good for one year, but I can call up in January and renew it for another year as long as I don't default. So by early 2009, I should be fucking done with my debt and done with BOA. Fucking shitfucks.

 

Three letters: ADT.

 

Hagadone Publishing.

 

Cingular can suck my metaphorical balls.

 

Whoever manufactures those damn police boots.

You see, I have several unpaid parking tickets. Hence, the boot on my car. Hence, I'm still at work. I've been here since 7 a.m.

Fuckabuncha boots (no, not that one...he's had enough grief tonight ;D)

 

Microsoft. No Astroglide, no KY, no nothing.

 

No toothpaste even?

 

Ha ha. Nope. Not even some Marlon Brando butter (LTIP). Billy Gates does it raw!

 

EarthLink. Fucking EarthLink.

They were our ISP about five years ago. One day, my 16-year-old daughter received a chain letter. Did not reply; she just received it.

EarthLink picked it up, immediately shut down our service. Not only that, they tried to charge us for two months past that, and didn't stop bugging us until the day I threatened to sic our attorney on them. They stopped immediately at that point.