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College Football Week 2: Lane Kiffin and New Jersey, Match Made in Fiery Hell

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Versatile, Sep 5, 2012.

  1. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    This week's top games, featuring the SportsJournalists.com poll, Bovada's early lines and p.m. Eastern times:

    Thursday, Sept. 6

    Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (-4), 8, ESPN
    It's crushing to see great, longstanding conference rivalries like this one fall victim to realignment.

    Friday, Sept. 7

    Utah (-7½) at Utah State, 8, ESPN2
    This game is being played at Romney Stadium.

    Saturday, Sept. 8

    Penn State at Virginia (-10), 12, ABC
    The only thing better than 0-1 Penn State: 0-2 Penn State.

    Auburn at Mississippi State (-3), 12, ESPN
    If Auburn loses this, it's almost assured of a 1-4 start. That's fucking delightful.

    Miami (Fla.) at No. 20 Kansas State (-7), 12, FX
    Bill Snyder has been scouting the 2002 Hurricanes just to be safe. He says they're suceptible to bad pass interference defensive holding calls.

    Central Florida at No. 18 Ohio State (-18), 12, ESPN2
    Ohio State's leading receiver last week was Philly Brown. Coincidentally, that was the nickname Johns gave MisterCreosote's penis during his street-walking days.

    East Carolina at No. 9 South Carolina, 12:21
    Connor Shaw can't lift his arm. Steve Spurrier says he wants to install the Fun 'n' Gun just to fuck with him.

    Ball State at No. 12 Clemson (-27½), 12:30
    This game will be decided by one score. Jason Whitlock will masturbate during it, using the grease from his cheesy beef eggrolls as lubricant. "Cheesy beef eggrolls" is a euphemism.

    Austin Peay at No. 16 Virginia Tech, 1:30
    This game exists.

    Western Kentucky at No. 1 Alabama, 3:30
    Nick Saban doesn't climb hills; he creates an elaborate series of dynamite filled caves underneath them and forces hills to collapse in on themselves.

    No. 25 Florida at Texas A&M (-1½), 3:30, ESPN
    Bold prediction: If the Gators lose, Will Muschamp will be gone by season's end.

    No. 2 Southern Cal (-27) vs. Syracuse, in East Rutherford, N.J., 3:30, ABC/ESPN2
    Matt Barkley is too busy banging song girls to hear those Heisman chants. He likes it when they wear the sweaters during the act.

    Air Force at No. 19 Michigan (-21), 3:30, ABC/ESPN2
    Falcons coach Troy Calhoun released his coaches' poll ballot to USA Today. He had Michigan ranked ninth. But in fairness, he ranked Alabama as "NFL."

    No. 11 Michigan State at Central Michigan, 3:30, ESPNU
    The Chippewas have beaten the Spartans more recently than Michigan has.

    Purdue at No. 23 Notre Dame (-14½), 3:30, NBC
    Somewhere, in a murky Midwestern dive bar, Allen Pinkett is muttering to himself that Tommy Rees' reinstatement is the best thing Brian Kelly's ever done for Notre Dame football.

    Missouri State at No. 24 Louisville, 3:30
    If a game happens and no one watches ... a Big East team was involved.

    No. 13 Wisconsin (-8) at Oregon State, 4, FX
    Wisconsin will win by 20, making this the easiest money of the day.

    Savannah State at No. 6 Florida State, 6
    There is no god in Savannah, Ga.

    Fresno State at No. 4 Oregon (-34½), 6:30
    Something witty about uniforms.

    Washington at No. 3 LSU (-24), 7, ESPN
    Knowing ESPN wants ratings, Les Miles is going to let Steve Sarkisian use his third string.

    Florida A&M at No. 5 Oklahoma, 7
    Landry Jones will make sure this doesn't get to be a blowout, lest everyone notice how much better Blake Bell is.

    Louisiana-Monroe at No. 10 Arkansas, in Little Rock, Ark., 7
    As if anyone has a damn clue what John L. Smith will do next.

    Grambling State at No. 21 TCU, 7
    I'm still adjusting to TCU being a big-boy school.

    No. 14 Nebraska (-5½) at UCLA, 7:30, Fox
    Taylor Martinez might give this whole "passing" thing another shot after all.

    No. 7 Georgia (-2) at Missouri, 7:45, ESPN2
    The Bulldogs are better across the board. But Mark Richt might lose this just to fuck with everyone.

    New Mexico at No. 17 Texas (-38), 7:45
    This game is being shown on The Motherfucking Longhorn Network.

    No. 18 Oklahoma State (-11) at Arizona, 10:30
    I predict a closer contest this week for the Cowboys.

    Duke at No. 22 Stanford (-15), 10:30
    Fucking nerds.
  2. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    Maryland opened as 10.5 dogs at Temple this weekend. Put the mortgage on Temple covering that.
  3. HanSenSE

    HanSenSE Well-Known Member

    Sammy Baugh weeps.
  4. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    I saw something about Urban Meyer having a sick record ATS vs. nonconference opponents. In other words, lay the 18 and go buy a new TV next weekend.
  5. TigerVols

    TigerVols Well-Known Member

    Keep an eye on UNM @ Texas to cover that -37. The Lobos opened with a scrimmage but despite an all-new scheme, they committed just one penalty, no turnovers, and have senior leadership in some key spots. Plus, they run a full-time pistol offense that should take a bit for Texas to adjust to.
  6. Steak Snabler

    Steak Snabler Well-Known Member

    Very much a blah week, with the exception of two games:

    1. Auburn at Mississippi State: If Dan Mullen loses this one, he should STFU for all eternity. He's 3-12 vs. the SEC West, with all three wins against Ole Miss.

    2. Georgia at Missouri: Welcome to the SEC, Mizzou. If the Tigers win at least lead in the second half, SportsJournalists.com might crash.
  7. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

  8. Chef2

    Chef2 Well-Known Member

    If the Turtles krap inside their shells this year, there is no possible way Edsall will be there next year, is there?
  9. Donny in his element

    Donny in his element Well-Known Member

    If Bill Snyder were paying attention to 2002 game film, he'd know it was defensive holding.

    And what's so special about his family that it gets a whole stadium named after it.
  10. Jake_Taylor

    Jake_Taylor Well-Known Member

    After decades of ignoring his family, that was how he made it up to him.
  11. Mark2010

    Mark2010 Active Member

    Temple is a 10.5-point favorite over anyone!?!? Much less an ACC team!?!?! The world has turned upside down. They used to be the doormats of D-I football.

    I thought Pittsburgh at Cincinnati was an NFL game.
  12. Chef2

    Chef2 Well-Known Member

    I can't see any scenario where Missouri stays within 3 TD of Joeja.
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