Colbert gets his rocks off

I enjoy watching the different sports at the Olympics, but except for hockey, I won't watch any of them for the next four years. I could care less about glorified X-Games events.

And all I do watch is the games. I use the remote when NBC does their other BS.

 

I remember doing a story in 2002 about how many athletes were skipping the Olympics because their sponsors would rather have them compete in the X-Games.

 

I like the Winter Olympics better than the Summer ones, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be glued to it. Downhill skiing, bobsled, some hockey, that's about it.

 

which sport and which athletes?

 

Well, that's just incorrect. US came second in medals after Germany in Turin. And the medals were in events like skiing, snowboarding and speed skating. Fairly high profile events.

But then if I were forced to watch NBC's coverage I'd switch to the Food Network. Fucking awful television.

I'll take the Winter Olympics any day.

 

The Winter Games totally whored itself out with all the new pothead, XGame sports

 

Yes, for goodness sakes, we can't have people playing new, popular sports at the Olympics.

When did a sport have to be created by in order for it to be of Olympic quality, Simon?

 

I actually prefer the Winter Games because there are fewer sports and you feel like you have a better grasp on the sports, all 10 of them, than you do the summer games. Throw in the scenery, Vancouver will be spectacular, but I figure rainy downtown V-town won't get as much screen time as Whistler, and it should be a good show.

 

Plus it has the biathlon. Skiing and guns. What's not to love?

Of course, one also has to expect the quadrennial deluge of 'humorous' columns about the baffling nature of curling. No one has an excuse to be baffled by curling anymore. It's the Internet age. If it was really that important, you'd have learned the rules by now.

 

I know what you're saying about the new events, but don't sweat the potheads.

Figure skaters are far more messed up than snowboarders: Christopher Bowman died of a drug OD, Nicole Bobek was arrested for alleged meth distribution, many Europeans have ended up alcoholic (i.e. Oksana Baiul) and a 2007 World Champion in ice dancing is in prison for a fatal drunk driving accident. Quite a rap sheet.

 

And does the name Tonya Harding ring a bell?