Coach's preemie story

Phew...I think I'm done. I just went through what I hope to be my last edit of this story. I'm going to sleep on it and give it a couple of read throughs tomorrow.

I used a lot of the advice I received here. I also opted not to use some of the ideas here, but that doesn't mean that every suggestion wasn't seriously considered. There are probably 3 or 4 versions of this story after going through some of your suggestions. At the very least, it made me a better writer and made me look at things differently.

Kind of an interesting side note: Our paper is giving this story the full treatment. So much so, that the photographer and I did a "behind the story" podcast talking about our experiences with the Kirks, how the story came about, etc. Now, this wasn't my idea and my first response was "Why would anyone care about my experience?" but my editors seemed to think it was a good idea. We'll see, I guess.

 

My only question is did you change the entire story to present-tense.

 

Tried it and actually really liked the way it sounded for the first few sections. But it was hard to keep up when Zach died, so I had to switch to past tense at that point. THAT is when my editors had a problem with it and wanted it all back to past tense. They wanted the whole thing to be one tense. I see their point and I definitely see your point.

I still have a day, so I might make one last push for present tense. It really did make me feel, as a reader, like I was going through it with them. A very good idea.

 

Sir Jones: I think the best thing about my writing is its rhythm. And your writing's rhythm, even in Sportsjournalists.com Writers' Workshop posts, is fourteen to seventeen times more rhythmic than my writing's rhythm. An amazing, amazing talent you have.

 

I doubt the writer of this great story will mind this, since he mentioned not minding the outing...

Here's the link to the final product on the Web site. Be prepared for tears.

http://onlineathens.com/stories/050408/news_2008050400179.shtml

 

Tremendous effort.

Zach Kirk's valiant little life -- and his parents' sacrifice -- gets its due. You did them all proud, Ty.

 

Tremendous work, Ty. You did yourself proud, too.

And as a former 8-weeks-early preemie myself, I'm proud of you for sharing this story here and for everyone coming together to offer him their input and guidance.

It's dusty, dusty, dusty, in here. Wow.

 

Well done, Ty. You and the photographer. That first shot of the baby's face...yeah, dusty....I need to go give little Miss OOP a hug.

 

Damn fine story Ty.

Very, very good read.

 

Thanks everybody. It really, really, really means a lot. The reaction I have received from this story really validates all the hard work I put into it.

I don't mind being outed at all in this circumstance. Once I posted the story, I figured anyone who wanted to know who I was could find out with with a few quick google searches. Plus, I'm glad everyone here got to see the photos that went with it. The story might be moving, but with Tricia's photo's, it's almost overwhelming. She really did an amazing job and went above and beyond.

It has been great having this forum to help me along in this long process. I am in debt to all of you that took the time to read and examine my story. I hope I can return the favor in the future.

 

It was a really terrific job.

I'm curious what the Kirks thought of it, and what their reactions were? Have you seen or heard from them since the story ran?

 

Well done, Ty. I hope Texas gave you a big pat on the back for it.

It was strange reading for me because I went to Clarke Central and I was born at St. Mary's.