CNN Headline News is melting my brain

I had the bright idea to come to the Orlando airport early (partially to play prevent defense in the rental car roulette you play when you drive around here) to try and get an earlier flight home (didn't work out), so now I'm in the terminal for a lengthy wait.

CNN Headline News is on in the background of every gate and in the common areas as well.

Me is get stupid with each minete. Pray for mojo.

 

Just heard Herman Cain say he didn't have an affair for the 10th time.

WHERE MICKEY MOUSE?

 

I seem to recall there being a bar or two in the Orlando airport. I recommend you drink heavily and think about dead deer.

 

Why do I need to drink heavily to think about dead deer?

 

I remember when Headline News - particularly with Lynne Russell - was great.

Does anything get better when something becomes an acronym? KFC, HLN...?

 

I'm hiding under an airport chair as Wolf Blitzer was talking about the Pakistani nuclear arsenal falling into the hands of terrorists.

 

You could always post an ad in Craigslist to um, pass the time.

 

Anyone think they'll let me go to London Gatwick if I ask nicely?

 

You do not want to be on that flight.

If you hate Mickey Mouse, the last place you want to be is a charter plane full of British tourists who love him.

They cram them in on those planes, and you'll be stuck with 'em for something like 10 hours.

Take your Headline News like a man.

 

Pray like hell you're in the air before Nancy Grace's eight-hour loop starts up.

 

Look for Liza.