Clemens signs with Yankees

Over-under on the Oblivious Choke Artist's first visit of the year to the DL: . . . ahhhh, let's say July 22.

 

ESPN reporting he signed a deal worth $28 million.

 

But anyone who can eat innings will help the bullpen. Maybe some guys they're starting now can do long relief and help there. But Clemens will help the Yankees. It's not like this move hurts them.

 

That's one less maxi pad that Theo can put in Schilling's sanitary red sock

 

Maybe he can buy Randy Hendricks a better hairpiece.

This press conference is hilarious. Hendricks: "I wasn't negotiating at Fenway Park." Uh huh. That's how you got $28 million dollars for four months of work.

Did Clemens get a Hummer too?

 

Yeah, but the middle relievers are still lousy. Yanks need middle relievers who can bridge the game from the starters to Rivera.

 

Leave LeBron's mother out of this

 

Yeah, uh, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Check that; I just tossed all my cookies.

 

The funniest thing about this press conference was Clemens trying to convince himself he loves his son even though he's into sculpting and not sports.

"My son's a sculptor, and I love him. I love my gay sculptor son."

 

the middle relievers might be a little better if they're coming in in the 7th instead of the 5th

 

All's I'm sayin is, Deb likes them Bergdorfs folks a real lot, ya know how that is, and also, now there ain't no more tranny fats in the NYC chow, so that ain't bad for ol' Rog's lover handles! Good to be back!