Christmas Present Idea Thread

Not compared to someone who blasts bullfrogs across ponds.

 

Fuck Christmas. I just want a birthday present from you!

 

www.gifts.com....they break presents down by category (i.e. Women --> "The Traveler", etc). Interesting stuff. It gave me some ideas for my mom.

 

http://www.heifer.org/

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/donate/what.cfm

http://www.rsf.org/rubrique.php3?id_rubrique=20

http://www.fruitoftheboom.com/en/ts_beijing.htm

http://www.secondharvest.org/

 

I have no idea what you're talking about. ...

 

Here's your ball, Mr. -uh, Brunswick.

 

So my sister's husband was still in the Navy last year, and there was a Coach store on the base where he worked. She's all into that shit, and since he worked on the base, she could use his discount. Near me there is an outlet mall with a Coach store. I'm thinking, Great, I can get her a nice gift card and she can get whatever the hell she wants. I'm thinking $100-125, somewhere in there. I walk in the fucking store and the first thing I see is a purse about the size of a sneaker, maybe smaller. $250. And it was the cheapest fucking thing in the store. I was more than a little dismayed.

 

Coach's purse: $250? Sounds like a bargain.

 

This may be the greatest Simpsons dialogue ever:

Marge: You didn't have to drop me off.
Jacques: But I wanted to. [grasps her hand] Marge, do you know how beautiful you look in the moonlight?
Marge: Errrr, Jacques! I'm a married woman!
Jacques: I know, I know. My mind says stop, but my heart, and my hips, cry proceed. [Marge reacts accordingly] Marge darling, I - I want to see you tomorrow. Not at Barney's Bowlorama, away from the thunderous folly of clattering pins. Meet me tomorrow for Brunch.
Marge: What's Brunch?
Jacques: You'd love it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal!
Marge: I don't think so.
Jacques: Marge, darling. There are ten pins in my heart, you've knocked over eight. Won't you please pick up that spare?
Marge: [hesitantly] Mmmm, mmmmm...All right!

 

Wow ... nobody else caught this?

 

She went to a Garth Brooks concert, dammit!

 

And you still didn't get her a present to make up for her suffering?

I award you no points and may God have no mercy on your soul. [/thanks Zeke]