Christmas cards

Daughter: "Daddy, I need to go poop. Can I close the door all the way?"
Me: "Yes."

A minute later ...

Daughter: "I'm done."

That's my Christmas card this year.

 

Honestly, and without a bit of blue font, I didn't know people still sent Christmas Holiday cards.

 

Why wouldn't they?

 

I hand make all of my Christmas cards. This year, though, I did make a special non-Christmas one for a Jewish friend. I only make 3-4 of each design, so rarely to people who know each other get the same one.

Only one year did I include a picture, though it didn't have any faces on it. It was a pretty darn good idea, if I do say so myself.

I pre-purchased Christmas socks for everyone (me, hubby and the two kids: one about 15, the other about 10). On Thanksgiving Day we got on the floor in front of the already-decorated mantel. On our backs, we stuck our legs up in the air, while wearing the dorky Christmas socks and holding our pants legs down around our knees. I had someone take our picture. I cropped it down so that all you could see was our bare legs below the knees (while up in the air) and the socks and the fireplace behind us. With this picture on the front, the caption read: "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care ..." And the inside said "While the XXXX's send you lots of holiday cheer." On the front, each family member signed their first name under their legs. The rest of the card was, of course, handmade.

They were a pretty big hit. That was the only year that I received phone calls as a thank you for a Christmas card.

 

Christmas cards givers are like pot smokers. Unless you give, you will never get any in return, and you might have no idea who is still doing it.

 

Same reason people don't write letters or write cheques.

Hey, nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a group e-mail or Facebook post

 

I've always done the written Christmas card, but I do it in an intentionally non-braggy way -- tell a funny story about each kid that is totally unrelated to their scholastic or sports development (like the time my son won my wife's workplace NFL picks pool, although actually I was pretty proud of that). And I really make fun of myself in it. Friends pick up on it as a tweak of all the stereotypical "here's how awesome we are" cards. For some reason I'm not exactly feeling it this year, though. I think the kids are getting too old to be made fun of like that.

 

I used to get lots of Christmas cards, enough to fill the kitchen counter.

Then I stopped sending them out a few years ago. Just seemed like a waste of time. Half the people I was sending cards are mere acquaintances. And I'll see the friends and family I care about in the next two weeks at some point.

Guess how many cards we've received this year?

None.

And I don't miss them, honestly.

 

I love getting Christmas cards... I hate getting Christmas letters...

 

Three more cards yesterday. One generic, two specialty.

Not a grown-up in sight.

Man, people must think we're the most egotistical adults of all time.

 

I got one from a college friend yesterday and it was just his three kids... Both he and his wife are pushing 40, but still look like they could be catalog models, so I was curious why it was just a shot of his kids... I texted him and he confirmed that his wife had said, "No more shots of us..."

I have two close friends at ESPN and both are on camera and have crazy hot wives... Both cards were just of the kids...

 

It's the thing now.

Like I said, scour Facebook profile pictures. I bet an enormous percentage are of children, not the person.

It's apparently become a social faux pas to admit that one has value outside of being a parent to a young child.