Children and religion

This is a tough issue. My wife and I have raised our kids Catholic (they both attend a public elementary school, and religious ed through our parish), and they're receiving all the sacraments.

But many on my side of the family have gone away from "the Church," for reasons mentioned elsewhere on this thread. It's very easy to become disillusioned with the church as an institution, especially in light of the clergy sex abuse and the never-ending efforts by church leaders to cover it up (including, perhaps, Cardinal Ratzinger, who is now the Pope).

I guess we believe in teaching our kids the faith and traditions we both believe, but when they become adults, they can and will decide for themselves.

 

There are plenty of Christian churches that don't take all the stories in the Bible literally.

 

My father was raised Catholic and my mom was Methodist so they compromised and raised me without any religious instruction.

I think I'll just raise my children to worship me.

 

Say what you will about his stance on the supernatural, but Richard Dawkins has some excellent chapters dealing with children and religion in The God Delusion. Even if you are a believer, it's worth checking out.

The one real good point he makes is that it's heavily frowned upon to force children into a political affiliation at such a young age, yet we seem to have no problem telling a kid he's a Catholic, Jew, Muslim or whatever before they're old enough to really understand what any of it means.

 

Same here. My parents had not been in church in a decade or so when I left the Catholic faith and stated going to a Methodist Church. My dad refused to speak to me for a few months.

 

Born and raised Catholic. Stopped being a regular Mass goer around the time I went to college. I believed in everything I was taught, but going to Mass was like doing chores around the house. I knew it had to be done, but I didn't get anything out of it. I know that sounds selfish, but I rarely got anything out of going to Mass other than reciting a bunch of words. I understand the words, and I believe their meaning, but there's gotta be more, yes?

When I met my wife, I started attending her church in her city. It was a non-denominational Christian church. I loved it. The band that played was great, the people were great, and the minister - he later married the queen and I - was excellent.

We found a church like it in the city we live in. Great music, great people and the minister ... good grief he is incredible. I go there and I learn about God, Jesus, the Bible, etc. I try to practice some of the lessons I learn. I leave there wanting to be a better person rather than leaving there thinking, "Man, that 50 minutes seemed like 90! Hey, Dad! Let's move it! The Chiefs start in 10 minutes!"

We have decided to let our three kids decide for themselves what path they want to follow God. They have been dedicated in the church, not baptized. Does that make us bad parents? I don't know. I think my parents think so. They didn't like that I wasn't married in a Catholic church (Mom pouted the entire wedding). They don't like our kids haven't been baptized, and they HATE that we don't go to a Catholic church. They don't make a huge issue of it, but they've let their feelings be known.

Mom in particular hated that my wife had a daughter 18 months before I met her. Child out of wedlock. Yeah, taboo to some people I know. But ... my parents were married in May 1974. My brother was born in October 1974. The irony makes my wife laugh.

It hasn't helped my brother still is Catholic, his wife a Catholic convert and their three kids all baptized in the church. My brother doesn't make a big deal out of it.

I often doubt our decision. But when I see how much fun my kids have at church, what they've learned at church, the songs my son shouts when he gets home (something about being a soldier, marching for God), I think I've done the right thing. I want to be a better Christian and a better man. I don't know if I'll ever get there. But I think the church we currently attend is giving me a better chance than the Catholic church can.

 

Your way was much funnier. More proof that writing should be left to the professionals.

 

Funny but I just watched an episode of "All in the Family" where Mike and Gloria said they were going to let their kid make up his own mind, which is total bullshit. That's like saying I'm going to allow my kid to get his role models from (choose your sport). If we don't shape our kids, who will? If you think your values are important, ya damn well better get them in before the world does.

 

Being divorced, the bat has pretty much been taken out of my hands on this issue. My oldest son goes to a private school at his mom's fundamentalist Baptist church ... a place where his middle school basketball team has to play games in its warmup pants, lest they show too much skin.

Myself, I've been over the map ... raised Lutheran, converted to Catholicism for my first marriage, went back to Lutheranism later in life. Now, I'm not really into any organized religion.

Religion isn't something I discuss much with my son. I know the private school is a much better deal for him than the inner-city public school he attended a few years ago, so that is a positive at least.

 

Exactly. Unless your kids are total sheep, by the time they get to be 16-18-20 years old, they'll decide for themselves anyway. But unless you feel your own moral/ethical/religious values are completely worthless, it's irresponsible not to try to pass them on.

 

I was raised RC, followed and believed in the church for much of my life, but look back now, after all we know, and think: they wanted me, an 8-year-old, to confess my sins before receiving first communion? And they STILL think young kids must confess, while this crap goes on? I can barely force myself to step inside a Catholic church these days, and that's only for family rituals like marriage or some children's event, never ever again for a mass. As far as I'm concerned, the Catholic church willingly and knowingly betrayed all of God's children.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/25/world/europe/25vatican.html?hp
Top Vatican officials — including the future Pope Benedict XVI — did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church, according to church files newly unearthed as part of a lawsuit.