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Cheesiest pick-up lines

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by CradleRobber, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    The comment was more directed toward CR than you, Inky.
     
  2. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

    Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you wanna kiss me.

    I seemed to have misplaced my phone number. May I have yours?

    I like your skirt. It'd look better on my floor.

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.



    I'm sure I'll think of some more. But, for the record, the only time I've ever used them were to win a "Cheesiest Pick-up Line" contest. They probably will not help you play the field.
     
  3. Flash

    Flash Guest

    Best thread ever.
     
  4. Did it hurt ... when you fell from Heaven?

    You must be tired, because you've been running around in my head all day.
     
  5. My personal frfavorite...

    *Asked bashfully and coy-ly(is that a word? )
    You: Umm, sorry to bother you, but do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
    Girl: No.
    You: Just enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm XXXXX

    Gets 'em every time...
     
  6. Idaho

    Idaho Active Member

    Hey, Uma. The kids are all asleep. Wanna go upstairs to the play room?

    It worked last time.
     
  7. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    You know what I do? I ignore all the advice, and I ignore the girl. And I'm batting 1.000.
     
  8. Tommy_Dreamer

    Tommy_Dreamer Well-Known Member

    This should go over well at the party:


    "Excuse me. Is that a keg in your back pocket? Because I'd really like to tap that ass!"
     
  9. Platyrhynchos

    Platyrhynchos Active Member

    Hi. Would you like to play "Witch?"

    I'll be the broomstick, and you can ride me.
     
  10. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Stand on the other side of the room and make eye contact with the woman. The with your index finger, signal her over to you. When she gets there, say, "See how quickly I made you come with one finger? Imagine what I could do with five."

    Then wait for the action.
     
  11. Mayfly

    Mayfly Active Member

    Hey girl, let's do some math. Add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply the good times.
     
  12. Inky_Wretch

    Inky_Wretch Well-Known Member

    Okay, so I came over here to talk to you, but I'm kind of concerned.

    I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we go to a movie, have some dinner, maybe some drinks.

    I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together. Then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible.

    We decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married. I get a promotion, you get a promotion. We buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom. We have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids.

    But now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself. So to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence, I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out — justifiably so — and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad.

    So let's just keep this relationship sexual ... for the kids' sake.
     
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