Cheering for the enemy

So is he.

 

Uh, when did parents start dressing in team colors for a fucking Little League game?

If you don't want to wear a Giants hat go the NASCAR route and buy something with a logo from the company sponsoring the team. You'll be the only guy rocking a Chico's Bail Bonds lid at the park.

Or do Little League jerseys no longer have sponsor names on them?

During my less-than-illustrious LL career I played for teams that were sponsored by, among others, a sporting goods store, a muffler shop and and a factory that was going through a particularly rancorous strike the year they sponsored my team. My dad wouldn't let me wear my jersey anywhere other than at the park that year. That was fun.

 

This guy's not saying he hates his kid. Some people are reading way too much into this. I'm sure it was written, partly, in jest.

And buying a hat has nothing to do with being a man -- or "manning up"; boy, do I hate that phrase. Buying a hat and supporting your kid have nothing to do with being a man or a good father. You don't need the hat, and you don't need the gear. Who cares what the kid's wearing? Let him wear it.

Personally, I'm not buying a hat of any team but the Mets -- no matter on which team my kid plays. I'm just not going to throw the money away. If my kid (Irabu) hands me an extra Yankees hat from the team, I'll sport it, but I'm not putting down $25 on something I'm going to use twice a week for a six weeks and store in the circular file.

Instead of buying the Giants hat, put the $25 in his college fund. Then cheer the kid from the stands. That's the only important thing.

 

When the kid is at practice, change the street numbers on the front of your house.

Hopefully, he won't be able to find his way home.

Traitorous little bastard.

 

Teach the kid to intentionally throw games for the hated team, but be subtle about it.

Hopefully, he'll be able to show off enough talent to do the same thing in the Majors someday.

 

Reliable Market and Shelly's Quality Meats. I was the only guy in the league to play in the majors -- we had majors and minors -- for three years and on two teams because our sponsorship changed after my 10-year-old season.

 

Yeah, I was given the option of buying a team hat and jersey for this year's team, but I opted out of it. To me, the fact that I'm at every minute of every practice and game -- and that I'm supportive and encouraging all the kids on the team -- is worth much more than me buying a hat and jersey.

 

My town's league had nicknames for the teams - and the nickname is what the kids identified with - but each team was also sponsored by a local business. For its money the business name was on the back of the jerseys and received a team photo to display in the store/office. If the team won the league the business might have even received a trophy too. My teams sucked so I'm not sure about that one.

 

If the parents don't wear team hats, how will the kids know to listen to them instead of the coaches?

 

That's how my parents did it. Well, I guess they could have brought strips of beef to my games to support me, but their clapping was good enough for me.

And even if they weren't there, I'd still have gone 2-for-3. They were just background noise.

 

My kids' league has MLB names and sponsors. Appropriately enough, when my oldest played for the Cubs, his sponsor was a sewer company.

By the way, being on the Cubs was not a perk on the South Side of Chicago, but the parents were cool about it. I remember one dad cheering, "Go Cubs!" Then saying as an aside, "Man, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd say that."

 

Wait until the kid gets to third base. On the next play, run out onto the field and tackle him before he can reach home. Then lean over his broken body, put your finger in his face and yell DODGERS REPRESENT, MOTHERFUCKER!

Blood is thicker than water, but if you're a Dodger fan1, you're bleeding Dodger blue, so back up your real family. It'll be a good life lesson for the little booger, too!

1 -- I'm assuming you're a Dodgers fan, because I can't imagine anyone else giving an ass about the Giants