Cheer up an old fart with insults, please

I'm not about to touch Granny's pie. Ewww.....um, are we still supposed to insult you?

 

If you feel the need to. Otherwise, let's lock this fucker.

Again, thanks for all you farkin' iceholes making me laugh today.

Hot co-co is warming.

The Granny

 

Granny is so old, she has an autographed copy of the Bible.

Sorry, that's all I got.

 

I was going to call Granny a slut but PO beat me to the punch. Besides, I'm not sure calling her a slut is that much of an insult.

 

Why would it be, sister.

 

The Granny doesn't know how to use a question mark. (Sorry, that's the best I've got. I'm not that great at insults)

Maybe this will make up for it?

 

Question marks too far from home row.

mmmm ... is that Giordano's?

 

C'mon Granny. Giordan's has the sauce on top. That is (I believe) from your favorite spot.

 

!!!!!!!!!

 

Grampa is reading the paper at the breakfast table in the morning when Granny walks in with no clothes on, sits down across from him and leans over the table to get closer.

"Grampa," she says, "Remember the first morning on our honeymon when we ate breakfast in the buff after making love all night because we were still so hot for each other? I still feel that way about you.

"In fact, right now my breasts are as hot as they were on that morning on our honeymoon!"

Grampa puts down the paper, looks up and says,

"That's because the left one is in your oatmeal and the right one is in your coffee."

 

Now that's solid.

 

I'm here all week, two shows nightly.