Cheer up an old fart with insults, please

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.

 

Now that's another funny one.

 

Something about Bea Arthur's dick.

 

Granny .... did you have any pet dinosaurs while growing up in that cave?

 

Dude, that was her vagina.

 

Granny takes a breather after a morning stroll.

 

Wow, tbf. Look what Britney Spears started with those crotch shots. I don't think pink is Charlie Weis' color, though.

Anyway, The Granny is so easy, even a caveman could do it...and has.

 

Your tits are so old, one of them is marked "for whites only." Your tits are a shameful time in American history.

(Stolen from the Bob Saget roast.)

 

OK... I'm going to make Granny a little younger than she actually is... those nights you spent at the Roman Collesium... were you rooting for the Lion or the human?

 

i don't know granny but i've heard her first christmas was THE first christmas.

(stolen from somewhere i can't remember)

 

Hey Granny,

You know how some people think old folks shouldn't drive because it might be dangerous to them and they might get in a crash or something?

I'd give you my keys.

 

You worthless cocksuckers are the greatest. Thanks for the laughs.

The pie is cooling on the sill -- if you know what I mean.