Cheer up an old fart with insults, please

Since I've walked into the office today up until I left, it's been a constant shitstorm.

A rejection e-mail, an out-of-town job pulling its "free travel" to the interview off the table (which means, I can't afford to go now) and other bullshit that, for some reason or another, has made me fucking crazy today.

So, instead of the "say something good about me cus I'm feeling low" bullshit, I encourage all to whip up a great insult (via words or images) that will break this old gal out of her begining-of-a-shit-ass-week funk.

Have at me, boys and girls.

 

Fuck off.

 

Could be worse, Granny. You could be incontinent.

 

Canasta sucks.

 

And, really, Granny. I don't think that Wal-Mart can be expected to pay travel expenses to interview for a job as a greeter.

Doncha got a Wal-Mart nearer to you?

 

If you had a Mets symbol on your forehead, I'd wear you as a hat. Ah, who am I kidding? You're probably three sizes too big.

 

cross your fingers granny ... cause I'm not even sure if the little blue pill is gonna help in your case. maybe you should just tell him to take two.

 

Will this do, Mikey?

 

No, not at all.

Although, it is quite fetching.

 

Lady, I wouldn't "have at you" after I drank a bottle of tequila, popped two ecstasy pills and needed to have an orgasm or else die. You're a gross old whore, whose anal hair growth is matched only by the unkemptness of your vagina.

 

Now this is more like it!!

 

So, do you wanna do it sometime?