Catherine Zeta-Jones? Go down on her at your own risk.

Karl Malden just sat up in his grave and ralphed.

 

Jim Kelly must have been a devourer of snatch.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/2013/06/03/jim-kelly-batting-cancer-buffalo-bills/2384265/

 

So when Mikey splashed down on Kathleen Turner's mound in "Romancing the Stone," was he acting?

 

If Douglas is gay, he's done a Hall of Fame level job at hiding it over the years, between cheating on his wife and going into rehab for sex addiction... Not that that's not possible...

If he is, then Tom Cruise and John Travolta could learn a lot from him about how to hide it.

 

The Travolta story always amazes me.
Hard to believe the tabloids don't pound it relentlessly.


Uhh, you know what I mean there ...

 

It will be very interesting if he and Cruise ever come out.

I don't think the public cares is someone is gay, but they might care when there have been multiple sham marriages involved...

 

Gives new meaning to the lyrics from Nirvana's Heart Shaped Box :

" I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap / I wish I could eat your cancer"

 

Douglas' publicist -- or is it pubicist? -- says Michael never said he got the cancer from lickin' it.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/michael-douglas-hpv-comment-highlights-rise-cancers-boys/story?id=19313927#.Uaz_p0C1EnQ

Also, the ex-wife says: Ain't me, baby, my rosebud is sweet.

http://www.tmz.com/2013/06/03/michael-douglas-ex-wife-diandra-divorce-cancer-oral-sex-hpv/

So great that that's what he's going to be known for upon his death.

 

Michael Douglas epitaph:

"Tasted every butterfly he faced, to his chagrin."

 

Jemele Hill interviewing Michael Douglas. This has to happen.

 

That, too.