Cancer

Sory I can't offer a more uplifting thread, but I was wondering if anyone out there has any experience with a relative in failing health being diagnosed with cancer. If chemo's not feasible, are there any options? I haven't dealt with anything like this so I really have no idea. Any information would be appreciated.

 

Ugh. That sucks.

Best wishes to you and your family members, Pallister.

 

There's never a good way to deal with cancer. Just pray they caught it early enough. It happened to someone close to me seven years ago and they caught it early and it was still hell on them. Best wishes to you.

 

Depending on where the cancer is, if chemo's not feasible there are no other options. You, the doctors and whatever health care team you assemble (hospice or visiting nurses and/or home health care workers) have to make sure your relative is as comfortable as possible and try to keep that relatives spirits up. I speak from experience as in July 2000 I was told my father has just 6-8 months to live because the melanoma had metaticized and spread to his lungs and it was too late to do anything - chemo could prolong his life a month or two, but not cure him. He died in Jan. 2001, the morning Bush was inaugurated.

 

That's what I thought. Fuck. It's my 77-year-old dad and it's lung cancer. He's been in and out of the hospital for almost 25 years with health problems, mostly heart-related. He's really gone downhill the last 4-5 years, though. Won't know for a day or two how bad it is or what the course of action will be, but there's no way he survives chemo. Thanks for the info.

 

I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation.

I hate to be so blunt but have dealt with this a few times.

If chemo is not an option, and there are no other options for medication and improvement, then you or your family will have to decide where to spend the remaining time - hospital or maybe a hospice situation at home. Home may provide more comfort and less sterility, while the hospital would be less soothing but possibly more conveninent for medical assistance.

It won't be easy or pleasant, obviously. You may need to also discuss any "do not resuscitate" measures, which is incredibly difficult to have to deal with if it occurs.

Also, ask your physician to explain everything and don't be afraid to ask questions. Last time I went through this, the physician was dicking around about the remaing days and I had to buttonhole him in the hospital hallway. I said about two weeks, he said maybe less. It was 10 days, but I was able to prepare my relatives a little better.

It's tough to experience this with anyone, especially a loved one. Bank on your faith and family and friends.

 

In the case of my dad, he was basically in good health in his early 60s. His father had lived into his late 90s and his mother had lived into her 80s, so he figured he had a nice long life ahead of him. Passes his annual physical regularly with no problems. Then he gets this cough that lasts for months, keeps insisting its a cold and that its nothing. He finally caves in to the demands of my brother and I to get to the doctor about it. Doctor finds a melanoma on the skin, does a biopsy of the lymph node, x-rays of the lungs and they discover that its already spread to the lungs and its so aggressive that its too late to save him.

 

My dad's the kind of guy who lived his life like he would die young, and he'll probably take whatever the final diagnosis is in stride. Luckily for him (and my mom), my four older brothers and older sister all live within 20 minutes of my parents' place. I, however, live 1,200 miles away, an issue I'll have to deal with sooner or later. Hopefully later.

 

Pallister,

Go to the American Cancer Society's Web page (if you haven't already). There's a lot of good info there for those diagnosed and their loved ones. Also, check to see if you have a local chapter in your area that may provide access to services for you and your family.

Lastly, do you have United Way 2-1-1 in your area? If so, call it and you'll get access to even more services and help.

My prayers are with you and your family at this time. Peace.

 

pallister, I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish I could offer some help, or some information, but I've been relatively lucky in this facet.

The only thing I could offer was saying you might want to PM DocTalk.

My thoughts are with you and your father.

 

Pallister, so sorry to hear this. Just to back up what people are saying, try to find a support group or system if you can, a group of people who can tell you what to expect, not only for your dad, but for yourself and the rest of your family.

 

The Big C is a scary thing. I'm sorry to hear pallister and Estreetjoe of your situations. I'm not sure too many of us nowadays can say we don't know someone who has or had cancer. Luckily, there are lots of folks walking around in every-day life who are in remission.

Prayers are with all of ya'll.