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Cable industry should follow the newspaper model!

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by ondeadline, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. ondeadline

    ondeadline Active Member

    [blue]The cable industry is losing customers to DirecTV and Dish Network. The solution is obvious: Follow the newspaper model.

    * Offer free viewing of all of the channels on the Web site for each cable company.
    * Reduce the number of channels available to cable customers who pay for TV service.
    * Cut the number of HD channels available.
    * Increase the monthly fee. Nobody will care that they are paying more for less and it will help the bottom line.
    * Ensure that the amount of air time devoted to commercials is at least equal to the amount of air time devoted to programming.
    * Significantly reduce the number of employees. Sure, the customer service may suffer, but it's certainly going to save money and help the bottom line. The surviving employees just need to work smarter!
    * Farm out customer service to Asian countries. Customers never will know the difference and it saves the company money. If their cable goes out, just send them to the Web site!

    This is certainly the blueprint for cable domination. The satellite-dish companies soon will be out of business.
  2. And don't show any west coast games.
  3. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    And lead off every show with pictures of cute puppies. Lots, and lots of puppies.
  4. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    It ain't mean enough. Put some blood in there.
    Show somebody gettin' hurt. A groin injury.
    Put a fuckin' map of Florida in the background. Get some tits in!
    Put a "For Sale" sign on the bottom.
  5. lono

    lono Active Member

  6. Football_Bat

    Football_Bat Well-Known Member

  7. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    Sorry I wasn't clear enough. I was referring to Sam Zell's famous line of readers wanting puppies on the front page.
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