Buzz Bissinger on the sad tale of Kerry Wood and the mystery of pitching

Some very nice descriptions within this piece.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/03/sports/playmagazine/0603play-wood.html

 

Agreed. Whoever wanted to know how to work with similies, I think this was a good example. Among my favorites:

"The Cubs’ blue-and-white uniform shirts, which have been set out by the staff with the circumspection of English butlers, flow from one locker to another."

"He would go way inside to let the batter know who was in control, a tactic that had the benefit of expanding the outside of the plate into a thick wedge of porterhouse."

Nice work.

 

Are those similies? I don't even know if they are similes. The last one seems closer to a metaphor? The other? I'd like a ruling from our masters of grammar and the English language.

 

A simile is a metaphor using "like" or "as." Neither is in the examples. No, no they aren't similes.

 

It was a nice piece. Wood does indeed look skinny. I'd love to see him back in the game, even if it's just in middle relief.

In theory, why couldn't he just shut it down for two years? He's only 29, so why couldn't he just work out and rehab for two years with minimal throwing and see what happens?

 

I am not sure it would help. As the article explains, Wood has always thrown across his body, relying solely on arm strength. Wood would need to re-learn how to pitch from scratch and I doubt he could completely revamp himself into a major league pitcher that way.

 

I agree with most of that. I just know he has one of the best arms I've ever seen, so in theory, if he learned to drive with his legs, couldn't he throw harder with less effort? I would think he could take some time off to rest the shoulder and simply lift weights and run, then pick a ball up re-learn some things.

He's already got all the money he needs, and he wants his son to watch him play in the majors, so wouldn't this be the best way to do that?

 

Ah, same effect. It's descriptive - and unique. That's all that counts.

 

Certainly rich descriptions, yes.

 

This link was sent to me in a group e-mail. And one of the recipients (a stats lover from way back) sent along another link, to the Boog Sciambi radio show, where Bissinger discusses it.

The e-mailer said that in it, Bissinger admits he "just listened to old baseball guys and took their word for it, without doing substantive research", whatever that means.

The sound on my laptop is disunctional, so I didn't listen. But if you're interested, here it is (sorry I didn't shorten it; I don't know how)

http://www.790theticket.com/audioplayer.php?mp3=2016550200Bissinger31.mp3&show=The%20Boog%20Sciambi%20Show&id=2543

 

sim·i·le (sĭm'ə-lē)

n.

A figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared, often in a phrase introduced by like or as, as in “How like the winter hath my absence been” or “So are you to my thoughts as food to life” (Shakespeare).


met·a·phor (mĕt'ə-fôr', -fər)

n.

1. A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison, as in “a sea of troubles” or “All the world's a stage” (Shakespeare).

2. One thing conceived as representing another; a symbol: “Hollywood has always been an irresistible, prefabricated metaphor for the crass, the materialistic, the shallow, and the craven” (Neal Gabler).

 

Jeez... give him cornrows and he looks like Axl Rose.