Buying an engagement ring, need advice

Congrats!!!

For the engagement ring, focus on the rock and put it on a standard/typical setting and then let her pick out what she wants for the wedding band.

My wife took her engagement diamond and had it put into her wedding band. Her sister wears her engagement ring and a wedding band on the same finger, but they're still separate.

The best advice I got before I bought my wife her engagement ring was to find out her ring size ahead of time and be able to explain why you picked out the diamond that you bought, something like, "Well, the jeweler said clarity was most important than carat size..." That sounds better than, "Well, they showed me three rocks, one was $6800, the others were both closer to $7500 and I couldn't tell the difference so I bought the cheapest one."

 

If you need advice on what she'd like, consulting a sister or best friend is never a bad idea.

 

I've mentioned this before, but former Sixers owner Pat Croce had the best engagement story ever.

He proposed while watching TV on the couch, and when she said yes, he told her, "Why don't you go buy yourself a ring and then tell me how much I owe you."

Yeah. Don't do that.

 

Ex?

 

Congrats Beef, I assume that you want to get the ring as a surprise so some of this advice may not work.

Before we were married my wife and I went in to Spence Diamonds to look at rings and get an idea for what kind of ring she wanted. Their radio ads are atrocious but actually a pretty good set up for looking at a ton of rings.

If you are geographically where I think you are PM me for the name of a custom jeweller. Its sounds expensive but was less than the chain jewellery stores and the couple who run it are fantastic, have bought my wife more stuff from them. Super easy and unpretentious to work with, know a few people who have gone there and friends recommended him to us.

 

Because who can say no to a flawless diamond simulant?

 

I was told not to ever buy a ring from a chain jewelry store, that the diamonds are usually marked up higher and not usually as nice. I don't know if that's true, but I had a really good experience going to a diamond broker.

I paid $8K total for my wife's engagement ring and it was appraised and insured for $12K which made me feel like I got a pretty good deal.

 

We spent five times more on our wedding bands than I ever spent on an engagement ring.

 

First of all, thank you all for the kind words.
Secondly, thank you for all of the advice, this is why I come here. You guys are fantastic.

I think I will definitely ditch the idea of the ring/band set and concentrate just on the ring. This may be the most confusing purchase I ever make as to considered value haha, though I am not looking at this as an investment I still want to know why I'm paying as much as I am for something -- your post Ragu was extremely helpful thank you. I've quizzed her and grilled her on different aspects of jewelry and she's kind of vague, she doesn't wear much jewelry at all, the only ring I've seen her wear is her claddagh ring. She says she will love whatever I get her. She is sweet, but I still feel the pressure to get her something nice that fits her personality. I have her ring size and that's all I'm certain on. I know she doesn't like big and garish rings, she likes simple and elegant. She's definitely more conservative in her style and a bit of an introvert. The photos on Facebook she hates the most are engagement photos that focus on the ring itself as opposed to the couple, what she views as the important part. But she still wants a ring. Even on colour of gold she was all over the place. Does it have to be gold? Can it be silver (and beyond of course one being gold the other silver, what difference then is there between white gold and silver?), or is that a major faux pas when it comes to an engagement ring? I'm thinking if silver is cheaper it allows me to invest more in the stones. I wish I had some of the budgets you guys are throwing out there for what you all spent on rings, but I have my budget and I am sticking to it. It will still be one of the single most expensive purchases I have ever made outside of a car. Ah the life of a journalist. The diamonds thing I know has been brought up, I am aware they are a scam -- but it is tradition, I guess -- is it the same way with other gems?

I will keep you all posted, I'm planning on the end of June -- the proposal is the easy part -- but I want to make sure I give myself time to get exactly what I want. Any or more advice is absolutely appreciated. Thank you again everyone. Cheers!

 

I don't have much advice other than to not get too hung up on it. Get a nice ring you can afford. If you think the size or the cut is really all that important to her, get an idea of what she'd like and do your best to make that happen.

But don't let external pressures (i.e., what the wedding industry's telling you) force you into a purchase you can't afford (or that'll stretch your finances). If your experience is anything like mine, you'll find that a lot of these things look a helluva lot less consequential after you're married than they did before.

 

Congrats, Beef ... and from what you've posted about your girlfriend, she has a great attitude about other things being more important than jewelry.

Way back when I was in your shoes (early 1990s), I was advised to focus on getting the best diamond I could afford, and worry less about the "ring" part. It was good advice, because my wife ended up choosing a wedding band that interlinked with the engagement ring. She still enjoys it to this day.

And yes, I used her sister as help ... and she was able to keep a secret.

 

doctorquant, Oh I am definitely flying in the face of the wedding industry and their expectations of me. I have my budget and I will be sticking to it, still want to maximize bang for buck.

Coco, I will definitely be leaning on her sister for advice on her likes and dislikes.
Is one solitaire diamond then better than a multi-stone setting with the same total weight, or is that solely a style preference thing? And my girlfriend has a great view on such things, one of the many reasons I love her.