Bunch of savages in this town

There's something exhilirating about pointing out the shortcomings of others, isn't there?

 

I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?

 

I'm thrilled this turned into a Clerks fest.

Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. I talked to the front desk, explained the situation and they let me into a managers office to print my boarding passes. And yes, you can get boarding passes when checking luggage, but I was part of the cattle herd process known as Southwest Airlines.

 

Are there any balls down there?

Just the biggest pair you've ever seen, dingleberry!

 

If you can get on the Internet, just check in and don't print until you get to the airport. You still keep your place in the check-in sequence. Have had to do it many times.

 

One ball? You only brought one ball?

 

It's all I could scavenge up...

 

The last time I tried to pick up a woman in a bar, we went back to her place, where she decided to take a few pills and pass out, while I spent four hours drinking with her roommate before driving home at 5:30 a.m. incredibly frustrated at not only the fact I didn't get laid -- again -- but because that night was a complete waste.

 

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

 

Pack of cigarettes?

 

Why don't you try some Chewly's Gum instead?

 

All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed -- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. All right, look, you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.