Building a life

So I took stock of my life a few days ago and realized, really, I don't have much of one.

I have my copy editing job, an apartment, a car, a computer and a guitar and some videos posted on YouTube, and that's about it.

I'm getting sick of it, I need more substance in my life.

I'm throwing this out there to my fellow deskers -- is it possible to have a life outside of work: friends, a close relationship with a nice gal or guy and other normal relationships?

Frankly I don't see it in my current situation.

I understand that being in this business means you have to sacrifice some things that people in other careers might not have to, and you can make up for that in the amount of satisfaction or creativity you can display in your job.
But still, you can't talk to your career, you can't go to the movies with your career, you can't snuggle and tell your inner-most secrets to your career.

It seems some of the older people here have somewhat normal relationships with wives or husbands while being in the business. How do you do it?

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts or suggestions!

 

I have this friend you can talk to. Her name is Kirsten. (EliotSpitzer).

JK. dude, don't get so down. You gotta look at what you do have. You have a roof over your head, a car and a job (and probaly a college education). There is a good lot of people that are missing one or more of those things and life for them is that much harder. Just do what you love to do. And don't force anything...girls can smell desperation a mile away. (It took a long to learn that lesson). Just be positive.

 

Yes, it's possible. Keep working at it, and good things will happen.

One suggestion. Find things you like doing, on your own, outside of the house, and you will meet people who like the same. That's how you make new friends, that's how you develop relationships.

But if you get some enjoyment out of doing things you like, you'll make it a lot easier for someone else to want to enjoy them with you.

So: Just enjoy yourself.

 

Brooklyn, I'm sure that you mean well. But this thought process always drives me absolutely nuts, probably because it's just so, so prevalent in this business. Particularly from management, whether spoken or not. It's a derivative of, "Eat everything on your plate - kids are starving in China!"

Wanting more out of life is nothing anyone should have to apologize for.

 

Life gets better when you least expect it. It seems like everything is falling into place for you elsewhere, one of these days, all the rest will as well.

 

Don't sit around and wait for things to get better. I know you love this, but identify priorities. Perhaps move to the news desk, with its day-time hours. Perhaps go back to school for a law degree or an MBA. Make things happen. Don't think they magically will. Decide what's most important and then force the issue.

 

That is, unless you have bad sex. Then you get angry. But it's OK to be angry, because you've wasted your time. Maybe even more than you're wasting your time now.




Sorry, I just couldn't help it. I've been holding out for too long.

 

There's bad sex?

 

Damn, tremendous pull Cadet. Got me with that one.

 

If you're working a typical desk shift, you've got a lot of time during the day to get involved.

You mentioned a guitar, go to a retirement home and play for them. Or offer to teach lessons. Find a charity you can really support and go volunteer one day per week before your shift.

Get involved and expand your circle of friends/acquaintances. Eventually, that'll lead you to somebody.

 

Don't kid yourself: You're a copy editor.

You will grow older and more bitter. You'll die alone.

And there will be two style errors and a typo in your obit because you were no longer manning your post.

 

If you are staying up till 5 a.m. when you come home and sleeping till 2 p.m. then eating cereal and going to work, you aren't going to have much of a life.

You've got to try to get up earlier and go out and do something. If you find someone you want to socialize with and your Monday-Tuesdays off don't work so good, make a lunch date.

Also, ask to schedule some Fridays/Saturdays off in advance and plan to do something fun like a weekend trip, concert, etc.

Don't feel like you are putting someone else out by asking for a Saturday off.