Bud Light Salutes You -- the Alabama football fan

Buy that man a Bud.
Eat it Bama fans.

 

I want to see a Florida version of this.

 

Somebody's gotta set that to the actual music.

 

In order for that to work the school that keeps winning national titles would have to stop.

 

Excellent, but nothing like that is complete without making reference to the florid-faced chubbos wearing their crimson suspenders, lugging around their Tide detergent boxes rigged up with toilet-paper-roll dispensers.

Some college-fan paraphenelia is clever.

But not all.

 

The most embarrassing thing about some of those SEC towns is how the adults in those cities seem to own no wardrobe that doesn't have their school on it.

I mean, that's fine when you're in college or at a game, but what kind of a professional person wears a polo shirt with their alma mater on it on a regular basis? I've lived and traveled all over the country and it definitely seems to be a southern thing.

It's just embarrassing.

 

Stupid southerners with their stupid shirts supporting their stupid teams. You tell 'em.

 

You have to remember, there is no pro team in Alabama, Miss., Arkansas, etc. If you're from NYC, or any other large market, you have baseball, football, hockey and basketball to spread your loyalty around. Not to mention college basketball and college football.

It's easy to look like a snob when you come from a four-sport town, but what if you had to combine all the emotion you have for all of your favorite teams into one team, that plays only 12 times a year?

Not forgiving all the loonies in SEC land, just trying to find an explaination.

 

Within reason it's fine. On gameday, it's always fine...

Would you really respect an attorney or an accountant who was wearing a crimson and white polo shirt at work?

I love my alma mater, but c'mon...

 

Bud Light Salutes Mizzou -- Hater Of The South

Announcer: Today we salute you, Mizzou, hater of the South.

Announcer: When Mizzou sees trucker hats and hears country music, his heart goes numb. When he thinks Mississippi, he sees racism and dumb.
Background guy: Git-R-Done!

Announcer: It wasn't enough that the North put a beatdown on the South in the Civil War or that the North was emphatically ahead of the South for 100 years after, Mizzou still stridently hums Battle Hymn Of The Republic as he puts his boot into the gut of southerners at every chance.
Background: Birmingham can go get fucked!

Announcer: Dry-rub barbeque, sweet tea, fried okra, cornbread ... if Mizzou goes to hell, this is what he will be served. Every day. In an Arkansas Razorback-themed restaurant where he has to do the Pig Sooey chant before every bite. While wearing something from Junior Samples' wardrobe from Hee-Haw.
Background: Hold the grits!

Announcer: Rest assured, America. Sleep easy knowing that if a Tide fan spent a week scouring Wal-Mart and Pamida looking for a fitted hounds-tooth hat for his mule, or if a Georgia fan came to blows because someone called Uga an ugly bitch, or if a proud Auburn mom sees her son's 600 SAT and says, "Our boy's smart enough to be a War Eagle!", or if an Ole Miss fan kisses the rebel flag displayed in his living room that he's no longer allowed to bring to games, Mizzou is out there, ready to ridicule. We salute you, Mizzou!

;D

 

For the record, I am a Georgia fan... My favorite uncle went there and we traveled to more than a few SEC games when I was a kid.

 

So you're the guy who gets into fights when Uga is made fun of.

When I was in fourth grade, a kid moved in from Georgia. He announced to us all -- Francis from Stripes-style -- that he was honor-bound to fight us if we made fun of Uga.

So naturally, we made fun of Uga as if our lives depended on it.