Broken Toes and Bridesmaids, SJ Ladies Edition

Hi, my name is FarmerJ and I'm about to be a bridesmaid, probably twice in the same year. [collective sigh]

I've never been a bridesmaid before, so I have no idea what to do. I'm actually the matron of honor in one wedding, and just a bridesmaid in another. In the former, the bride was the MOH in my weddining (no hard feelings, her sister is the MOH, and was as bridesmaid in my wedding).

What am I responsible for?

Oh BTW, the broken toe comes into play due to the fact that at exactly four hours into my current vacation, I cracked my toe into my coffee table. I had already got all the cleaning done I needed to do (except for laundry) done. I was planning on working out the whole week and snowshoeing on Friday, but that's all out the window.

Any help is appreciated. I just polished off three bottles of champagne so if this thread dies because it's girly I'm okay with it. Hell, any advice on the broken toe is appreciated.

 

Keep drinking the champagne. It'll help the toe. Not sure about tomorrow, though.

As for the weddings, convince your friends to elope. If that's not an option, start saving in a high-yield account. Seriously. All the stuff you're on the hook for is expensive. Times two.

 

I've been a bridesmaid, but never a maid of honor. And my friends aren't exactly ritzy. So I was on the hook for, I think, a $100 dress or so each time. The end.

So I'm really not any help. But I hope your dress is HIDEOUS, just to continue the tradition.

 

Never been a member of any wedding party, and I have 10 siblings. One of the few advantages of my profession. Is it too late for you to learn to sing?

 

I was just thinking I missed having that SJ Ladies thread, maybe we can just let this one roll.

Best plan for a bridesmaid is to assess the rest of the entourage, and figure out which other bridesmaids is going to insist on hot pink satin shoes and a bachelorette party in Atlantic City. Turn everyone against her, even the bride if necessary. Even if she IS the bride. She must be neutralized.

See if you can convince the bride to look for dresses at a department store, not a bridal store. Much better chance of ending up with a real dress you can wear again.

Hope with all your heart she is not a 'this is my special day (stomping feet)!!' kind of bride. Then you're just screwed.

As for the toe, tape them all together, elevate, advil, tequila, and flip flops.

 

If you have a dress made, don't diet.

Somehow, leading up to my sister's wedding, either the dressmaker screwed up or I lost weight. Either way, the night before the wedding I tried on that ugly thing and it fell OFF my body. Not just down. Off.

Had to hold it up with fishing line.

Hope they elope but mostly just try to keep the bride sane and have her remember the wedding's a day and the marriage is what counts.

 

Watch many episodes of Bridezillas -- and drink a lot..

 

Wait, you have 10 siblings?

I have five brothers, and in most company, that's considered a lot.

Dad's one of eight and his uncle & aunt had 12 kids, but large families are so rare today.

 

FarmerJ ...

21 is spot on. Hope the bride isn't a "me first" type where she forces you to purchase the most expensive and uncomfortable shoes and is just unreasonable to any compromise.

One thing I've learned after being in 6 weddings -- make sure you find a good but CHEAP alterations place. Alterations is one of the hidden costs, you're not expecting to spend $100, but it can happen. I was lucky to find a former tailor who did alterations out of her home and she saved me hundreds of dollars. Really.

As for the matron of honor -- it's best to meet with the bride and the two mothers. Usually the maid/matron is responsible for setting up at least one shower (more in my case) and the bachelorette night/weekend. The mothers are key to this -- they usually have an idea on the shower(s) and want to be involved somehow.

 

Have you contacted Chef about the broken toe?

 

I've been very lucky. Both weddings I've been in have been pretty lowkey, with non-Bridezilla brides. For the one I was the MOH in, I threw a surprise shower. The bride's mom, who I've known all my life, was unexpectedly difficult. She sent out her own invites after refusing to give me her list of names, brought food and made favors without telling me. And even though it was 15 years ago, I'm also pretty sure she ruined the surprise by telling the bride about the shower, even though no one will admit that to me. I didn't even go to the shower for the other bride, because it was far away and I was clueless and didn't know that I should have.

Neither friend wanted a bachelorette party, so I didn't have to deal with that.

For the wedding I was a bridesmaid in, my friend made us rent hideous dresses. I lived far from the wedding, so I had to send my measurements to the rental place and their seamstress fitted me the day before the wedding. The rental was pretty expensive (and gross, if you ask me), but at least I wasn't stuck with a hideous dress that would have been expensive to buy and expensive to tailor. For the wedding I was the MOH, my friend insisted that the two of us in her party get regular dresses from a store. I never wore mine again, but I know I could have.

I pretty much hate weddings, so I'm thankful I haven't been asked to be in more of them. I was the shoo-in to be the MOH when a friend got engaged last year, but they eloped instead (yay!).

 

Don't get all caught up in what the bride wants and totally forget your obligation as the unofficial hostess for the groomsmen.