Boredom: The man who would be King...

I would be lying to say I planned that.

 

Wow, you two get a room.

 

It was a thing of beauty.

 

At least more my speed. The tie-breaking post was giving me carpal tunnel. Any good cure for that, Versatile?

 

You're at least 30,000 posts past the point where my traditional methods would work. Have you considered rhinoceros husbandry?

 

It'd be nice if the Politics thread actually started being about politics again. In the meantime, I'll sip a Liesl-style soft drink and take any questions that don't tend to out me or my depravities.

 

All-time favorite SportsJournalists.com member?

 

Can't narrow it to one. Lugnuts is the board's smartest member and she always has a provoking take, and has been a friend. Slappy, Shottie, Liesl and Dangerously probably know the real me more than anyone else here, and it's nice to be able to vent to them. Hecht kinda has the same terse style I do and does it better. Double Down, tho we'll never agree on Wright, is a master critic in the best sense and turns Willie McGee into a baker and Michael Phelps into a baked employee better than anyone could. 21, of course. And Creosote always makes me feel good about myself in comparison.

 

Which member do you miss most?

 

I'll answer this, then someone else has to ask, or I'll feel as if I'm on a date.

Double J, the human Billboard archive, is definitely missed. Everyone, and everyone's mother, of course, misses Clubber.

 

Honestly, I'm just drunk and horny bored.

 

But fuck you, too. Why are you so uncomfortable with sexuality? Wait, don't answer that lest we wind up on a date.