Bobbie Battista, formerly of CNN, joins The Onion News Network

Sirs, Madames,

Always liked her on CNN. Nice voice. Sorta cross-eyed. I'm into that.

o-<

 

And, way back when, she was at WRAL in Raleigh:

 

"Go fuck yourself, Raleigh."

 

"Bobbie, you are a smelly pirate hooker."

 

"Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?"

 

"Your hair looks stupid."

 

Bobbie Battista: I told you that I wanted to be an anchor with the Onion...

Ron Burgundy: I thought you were kidding. I thought it was a joke. I even wrote it down in my diary - Bobbie had a very funny joke today. I laughed about it later that night.

 

Raleigh is French for "Whale's Vagina."

 

You mention those and you don't mention "crashed"?

 

I guess missing made me laugh more... missing is the utmost in incompetence.

 

Bobbie Battista WAS CNN for a long while.
She was sort of the Martha Quinn of cable news.

 

Charlie Gaddy, looking classy.