Beware of shit-squiring thieves

I imagine it won't take long for scumbags in other cities to try out what appears to be working in Toronto.....

Const. Vella said the four-member team watches people withdraw money from ABMs and then follows them to secluded areas, such as elevators, where they assume they will evade security cameras. Each scammer plays a different role: One person stealthily squirts the victim's clothing with feces, another points out the offending spot, a third tries to remove it while the fourth surreptitiously grabs their cash.

Const. Vella said the thieves make sure to soil their targets' clothes without them realizing.

"If it was overt, then their guard would be up and they would know there's an issue here. But if it's done secretively, the victim will think these four people are there to help them," he said.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/toronto/toronto-police-warn-of-feces-squirting-scam/article1584559/

 

And where are they squiring the shit, to?



(sorry, couldn't help pointing out the typo -- i'm a jerk)

 

Should read "ATMs." For, you know, immature reasons.

 

ABMs seems more appropriate, given the subject matter, though.

 

That sounds like a needlessly complicated and scatalogical variation on the deal where hookers would pretend to grab your package and empty your pockets in the process.

Advice for you young criminals: Unless you're pulling something on the scale of Bernie Madoff, don't get involved in a four-person operation. That means there are three people who can cooperate with the authorities and bury your ass.

Also, if you're the shit-squirting specialist, your life has gone haywire.

 

Words to live by.

 

Well done, both of you. I lol'd. ;D