BEST WAY TO ENACT REVENGE

The hidden fish/ground meat is a great idea, only problem is that it will bother the new tennants more than the landlord.

Wouldn't it be easier to wait a couple of weeks after you move and then put this landlord on a mailing list for sexually explicit catalogs?

 

shouldn't it be "exact revenge?" ??? ??? ???

i agree the smelly stuff would hurt the new tenant more than the landlord. just move on, man. 8)

 

Kill his parents, cook them in chili, make him eat it.

 

We have a winner!

 

Yeah, yeah, oh let me taste your tears, Scott. Ummm, your tears are so yummy and sweet

 

A few months ago, I probably would have started this thread.

When we moved, I was convinced the fucking complex would not give us our deposit back. So I was in full support of eating at Taco Bell for two days before the move and then relieving myself in every room.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law talked me off the ledge and said we had to put in a good effort to clean the apartment so that we'd have a case for getting our deposit back (and a case we could take to a lawyer). So we cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. A couple weeks after we moved, we got a letter from the complex saying there was a stain on the living room carpet (quiet jackasses!) and because of that they'd only give us two-thirds of the deposit back.

Of course there was a stain on the carpet. It was eight fucking years old! And never mind that they rip up the carpet as soon as you leave, whether you were there eight seconds or eight years.

So my wife wrote a letter politely pointing this out. Three days later we get a check for the full deposit in the mail. Sweet. Victory is ours.

So anyway, you probably shouldn't shit on the rugs. I'd keep quiet on the way out and savagely badmouth the fuckers to everyone you know. Which is what I'm doing about the old complex.

 

Your mother-in-law must be so proud ..

 

I say inject mercury into their water supply. If you can get enough mercury into the person's system, it'll bond with the O2 in the blood and coagulate. That quickly leads to irreversible, congestive heart failure.

Talk about sweet victory.

 

This one I like.

 

His wife's face looks like a used napkin.

 

They live in Arizona during the winter so they could care less about snow removal (which is included in the rent.) Their son usually does it but because of three DUIs in 10 years he lives at a halfway house during the week. So they left my 62-year-old neighbor, who smokes three packs a day, to snowblow the driveway (with nothing off his rent mind you).

So a few weeks ago we got a bad storm and the parking lot was snowed in and to make matters worse the borough plowed it in even more. The old guy couldn't get the snow blower to work. So the lady downstairs (said scumbag son's fat gf) askes me to help shovel. Being the nice guy I am I did, but then I called my landlords in Arizona to say this wasn't acceptable and it wouldn't happen again. If you're going to leave for the winter make solid arrangements to get the snow out.

Another part is I only paid half my rent this month b/c they owed me the other half. Why? Because I paid 1 1/2 months security deposit about three years ago, but in my lease it says after a year the deposit must be reduced to no more than one months rent. They knew this, but had no intention of tellling me. The old guy across the hall found it in my lease.

So over the last few days we got about a foot of snow and when I came out today to go to work everyone's parking spot was cleared but mine. I guess that was my payback.

 

And you're just now trying to get out after three years of this shit?