Best man etiquette

I wouldn't use that.

"From the very first time I saw her, I knew I wanted to play hide the salami with her."

 

Okay, sorry for the delay, stupid work.
Anyway, the girl without a rectum is actually a girl without a rectum.
At a very young age she had some sort of innard cancer and it led to doctors removing a portion of her lower gastro intensnial (SP) track.
The surgeon stitched up her rectum and she had an internal colostomy bag put in. That meant she had a valve on her side that she would open up and stick in a tube when she had to poop.
She would often times not to tell guys she had hooked up with about her lack of a second hole and would roll over willingly to get their reaction when they went looking and couldn't find it.
I saw it.
It went vag, taint, more taint, a very light scar that you had to look for and then butt cheeks.

 

I'm torn between laughing and being disgusted...perhaps a combination of the two.

 

So if someone were to go ATM on her, it'd actually be STM or VTM (side to mouth, or valve to mouth?)
And was "opening up the valve" her code for wanting to do anal?

 

If we're using hockey terms, I've always liked "pull the goalie" for doing it without protection. Just hope it doesn't end in your team getting an extra attacker nine months later.

 

Me, too. Holy shit, I did not expect that. I sincerely thought he just misspoke.

 

That describes exactly my reaction.....and did anyone else laugh in spite of themselves when they read "innard cancer"?

Talk about being tight-assed.

Another important question - does the valve have a vent so she can still fart?

 

I figured he meant it that way, I just didn't realize he meant it in a literal sense.

 

As I stated earlier, I thought he meant she was just uptight. Wow. And Jay's description is even better on second reading. What, was it a big freaking game to her?!

 

Yep, it's called Find the Brown Spot. Ah-ha, you lose, there isn't one!!! ;D

 

Awesome.

 

If you don't have it, flaunt it.