Best man etiquette

That was my question as well. WTF?

 

Yes, and here in the deep south, the curling clubs are usually booked years out.....

 

Make that three of us.

 

This thread reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.

It's well into the reception. All of the ceremonial things have been done, the oldsters have departed but the youngsters are still partying, drinking, dancing.

Groom and best man find a quiet moment aside to catch their breath and sip a cocktail.

Perusing the room, the groom says, "You know, I've screwed every woman in this room except my wife and my sister."

Best man says, "Wow, between the two of us we got 'em all."

 

Fantastic work right there.

 

The best man gives the maid of honor her bikini trim.

 

I've been best man at 3 weddings, including one in which the groom didn't tell me that I was in the wedding party until the week of the wedding (making me change my flight) and he didn't tell me that I was the best man until I showed up to the rehearsal and was told where to stand. At the time, I didn't know his bride-to-be that well, but I'd been good friends with his long time girlfriend, with whom he had a nasty break up about a year before the wedding. When I was practicing the quickly assembled speech that morning, I kept on using the ex's name instead of his bride's. Luckily, I didn't slip up in front of the crowd.

I used the same line in each speech -- "I guess that I'm supposed to tell an embarrassing story about _______, but you all witnessed the first dance and he's already humiliated himself enough for one day."

 

Can't go wrong with the following speech:

"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."

 

The hypothetical groom is getting to a woman of whom he has not had carnal knowledge?
That's a pretty flimsy premise there.

 

A fucking winner!

 

I figured it would go over the head of most of the urbanites.

But they don't have driving sheds south of the border? How far south are you? I would assume that if you're in a place where it rarely snows, farmers can get away with leaving their stuff out all winter.