Best humorous semi-original Xmas song

What? No love for Tom Lehrer?

A Christmas Carol

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and dont say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On christmas day you cant get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
Theres time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expensell
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
Just the thing I need! how nice!
It doesnt matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
Whats important is the price.

Hark the herald tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend kris kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Dont stand underneath when they fly by.

 

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(btw -- sc... rawrr!!! ;D)

 

Got to go with Father Christmas by the Kinks. And then the Cheech and Chong "Santa and His Old Lady" bit.

 

Weird Al, no doubt about it. It's been my favorite funny Christmas song since the sixth grade.

 

Xmas At Ground Zero was on the radio today. I couldn't believe it.

 

One song that probably should be on there but probably isn't because it's too new, at least compared to others on this poll, is "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" by Blink-182.

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed the baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time, again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, All year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don't get beat down
Just leave the presents and let me be alone

Well, I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn't have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas
I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas