1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Best humorous semi-original Xmas song

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by DyePack, Nov 24, 2006.


And the award goes to ...

  1. 12 Pains of Xmas

    8 vote(s)
  2. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

    8 vote(s)
  3. The Hanukkah Song

    8 vote(s)
  4. Xmas At Ground Zero

    4 vote(s)
  5. guy's song about his car

    0 vote(s)
  1. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Hey DyePack, how is Dogs Singing Jingle Bells not on the list?

    Greatest Christmas song ever ... sung by dogs.
  2. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    The Grinch Song.
  3. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Dogs barking = not semi-original.
  4. Walter_Sobchak

    Walter_Sobchak Active Member

    I heard there is no Christmas,
    In the silly Middle East..
    No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
    They have different religious beliefs...
    They believe in Muhammad,
    And not in our holiday...
    And so every December,
    I go to the Middle East and say...

    Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
    Put down that book, The Koran
    And hear some holiday wishes
    Incase you haven't noticed,
    It's Jesus's Birthday
    So get off your heathen Muslim ass
    And fucking celebrate.

    There is no holiday season in India,
    I've heard..
    They don't hang up their stockings,
    And that is just absurd..
    They've never read a Christmas story,
    They don't know what Rudolph is about...
    And that's why in December,
    I'll go to India and shout...

    Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
    Drink eggnog, and eat some beef
    and pass it to the missus
    Incase you haven't noticed,
    It's Jesus's birthday
    So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
    And fucking celebrate.

    Now I heard that in Japan,
    Everyone just lives in sin...
    They pray to several gods,
    And put needles in their skin...
    On December twenty-fifth,
    all they do is eat a cake...
    and that is why I'll go to Japan,
    and walk around and say...

    Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
    God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum.
    Incase you haven't noticed,
    There's festive things to do
    So lets all rejoice for Jesus
    and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

    On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
    Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
    and all you atheists too..
    Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
    Thank you, Mr Hat..
  5. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    DyePack dissing Dogs Singing Jingle Bells = bullshit of the highest order.

    Dogs Singing Jingle Bells = delivery genius that puts a whole new spin on a holiday favorite, in essence, creating a whole new song out of an old chestnut. Plus, it has a cool laid-back guitar solo.

    Dogs Singing Jingle Bells = a species heretofore not known for its singing ability, creates a hit novelty record. That alone makes it semi-original.

    Dogs barking Jingle Bells = a song that is funny as hell.

    Dogs Singing Jingle Bells = my write-in vote. Woof, woof, bitch!
  6. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Write in whatever you wish.
  7. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    Two musician friends of mine several years ago got some studio time and goofed around with originial Christmas Songs, but did voice impersonations. Best one? Chuck D and Flava Flav doing White Christmas.

    Chuck: And may all your Christmases be WHITE.
    Flav: And may all your Christmases be ... What? You sellin' out, Chuck; You sellin' out!

    Chuck: Yeeeaahhh white. Yeeaaah white.

    Freakin' classic.
  8. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday you'll be dead
    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday we'll all be dead
    The minute we're born we start dying
    We die a little more every day
    Young or old
    Rich or poor
    There's nothing we can do to stop it
    So look long at that Christmas tree
    It may be the last one that you see
    Decorate your house in green and red
    'Cause someday you'll be dead

    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday you'll be dead
    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday we'll all be dead
    It might happen in a couple months
    Or 50 years from now
    But no matter when it happens
    It will seem too soon to you
    So be sure on Christmas Eve
    When you snuggle into bed
    That you thank God for your family
    'Cause someday they'll be dead

    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday they'll be dead
    Dead, Dead, Dead; Someday we'll all be dead
    Who knows how many Christmases are left in their short life?
    Nobody knows, thats my point
    Enjoy them while you can
    And so on Christmas morning
    Let good tidings fill your head
    What a festive season
    Someday you'll be dead

    Dead, Dead, Dead Someday we'll be dead
    Dead, Dead, Dead Everyone you know, dead
    A Very Merry Christmas to you Dead, Dead, Dead
    Merry Christmas Everybody
  9. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    Heard 12 Pains for the first time yesterday.
  10. doubledown68

    doubledown68 Active Member

    Got to vote for Weird Al.. I'll also nominate a gem off the "Bad Hair Day" album entitled The Night Santa Went Crazy
  11. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member


    Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
    At our Christmas party
    We were drinkin' champagne punch
    And homemade eggnog
    Little sister brought her new boyfriend
    He was a Mexican
    We didn't know what to think of him
    Til he sang Feliz Navidad
    Feliz Navidad

    Brother Ken brought his kids with him
    The three from his first wife Lynn
    And the two identical twins
    From his second wife Mary Nell
    Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
    Who talks all about AA
    Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
    Noel, Noel, The first Noel

    Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
    Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
    Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
    We need some ice and an extension cord
    A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
    A box of pampers , some Marlboro Lights
    Hallelujah everybody say cheese
    Merry Christmas from the family

    Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
    I can't remember how I'm kin to them
    But when they tried to plug their motor home in
    They blew our christmas lights
    Cousin David knew just what went wrong
    So we all waited on our front lawn
    He threw the breaker and the lights came on
    And we sang Silent Night
    Oh Silent Night o' holy night

    Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
    Mix Bloody Marys cause we all want one
    Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
    We need some celery and a can of fake snow
    A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
    A box of midol, some Salem Lights
    Hallelujah everybody say cheese
    Merry Christmas from the family
  12. Satchel Pooch

    Satchel Pooch Member

    I had never heard the other two Sandler Hanukkah songs, but these lines floored me:

    "As for Half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one,
    And Marlon Brando not a Jew at all ,
    But it looks to me like he ate one.

    Gweneth Paltrow is half jewish
    But an aweful time Oscar winner
    Jennifer Conneley's half jewish too
    And I'd like to put some more in her"

    Anyways, I nominate "The Bathroom Door Said 'Gentlemen'"

    Does Christmas in Hollis count?
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page