Best computer for downloading porn?

In the market for a laptop. Want to spend under $1,000, but I would also like to control the universe.

I really only use my computer for surfing, Microsoft Office and iTunes. Have a pretty big photo/video library these days, too. Mostly Malamute porn. Pretty basic. Never had an Apple before, but I know how to use them. Would definitely prefer something as lightweight as possible. I know nothing about computers, and I don't speak Geek.

Suggestions, please?

 

PM me.

 

You could watch this video of the Official Sportsjournalists.com Anthem:

"Grab your dick and double-click!"

 

bookmark.

 

Three simple rules:



1. Go with the largest possible screen. Maybe even consider a projector. Have you ever seen porn in IMAX? It will open your mind to new possibilities. You'll see things you never knew existed. And, really, there's nothing like masturbating to a vagina that could literally double as a front door.



2. Buy the most expensive, highest quality noise-canceling headphones you can find. It shouldn't matter that your husband needs a diaper change or your baby wants another beer. This is your time. Turn the volume up and let yourself become one with the spitting, gagging, arbitrary cursing and fake orgasming.



3. Disable any ad blockers and security programs. Internet porn is a wormhole. One minute, you're watching Alexis Texas take it in the pooper like any civil woman; the next, you've got three Hungarian grandmothers stuffing each other with windowsill cacti. You can't get to the GILF/cacti porn yourself, though. You've got to click every link that comes up on your screen. If you don't have five accounts to Adult Friend Finder, you're doing it wrong.

 

This might be the best topic every broached on this message board! LOL

I'm crying while laughing!!!

 

Care Bear clearly knows her audience.

 

I'd say the best computer for downloading porn is your boss'

 

1. Jesus Christ. IMAX? How is that Commodore, Versatile? 3D is where the action is. If you haven't seen a vagina in 3D (and I know you haven't), you haven't properly experienced porn. Plus, the glasses also act as eye protection, so you get more bang for your buck. Heh.

2. Jesus Christ. Again with the technology, Versatile. I can get buds for my ears that provide all the raw Malamute barking I need without making me look like I am guiding a 747 into Octomom's vagina.

3. This intrigues me.

 

Hey, I did get that one blow job in high school.

 

A vagina gave you a blow job? Do you understand how sex works?

 

What kind of peanut butter was it?