Being A Cheap Bastard

My mom was the ultimate cheap bastard. Back when they'd pump gas for you in places besides New Jersey, my mom asked for $13 worth. Guy pumps $13.01. My mom refuses to pay the penny. I dunno what's worse: my mom bitching about the penny or the gas station guy insisting on getting it.

 

Don't know why he'd be cursing you. If he was done using it, I see no problem. Better someone use the excess than let it go to waste.

 

I try to save money on everything. I litteraly save all my pennies.

Every week I take $20 out of the bank for cash on hand. Whatever I have left over, bills or change, I save for a vacation. I add extra cash too, like if I do an odd job or sell a few books -- even $10 that an old aunt sends for Christmas.

This year I've saved over $300 for spending money on vacation in two week. I even seperate the pennies to use exclusively for gas money. For those few days, I'll live like a queen. The rest of the year I'll cut corners. It's even stupid stuff, like when Dr. J and I get fast food. He spends $8 on a value meal and a side. Since I always have a water bottle, I'll get two items off the dollar menu and be happy. Little things like that add up.

 

Not uncommon. My Coke-Pepsi loyalty is determined by the weekly supermarket sale flyers.

If neither is discounted, I have no problem slumming down to Faygo until the Big Two come to their senses.

 

OK, let's review the differences between taking advantage of the system (coupons) and stealing....

 

With kids, it's easy to be cheap without being a bastard. My kids are ecstatic eating Mac and Cheese, Ramen, PB&J, Grilled Cheese, eggs and chicken nuggets which are all cheap as can be.

 

The penny had nothing to do with it. There was something going on between your mom and the gas pump guy. You were just too young or naive to pick up on it.

 

There was this one time I was put in charge of a newspaper company. I ran it into the ground, collected a huge salary, and then took a huge severance package when I left. It was awesome.

 

I am the very epitome of a cheap bastard. Why?

Well, look no further than Black Friday.

For each of the last 13 years (soon to be 14), I've waited hours in front of a local store for their once-a-year deals.

Last year was the best.

I went the entire year without buying but maybe three DVDs altogether. My brother and I waited in line at Best Buy for 16 hours ... so I could save maybe a hundred bucks on DVDs that I was only lukewarm about.

We spent about 12 minutes total in Best Buy.

Oh, and while we're talking about cheap ... I still make my wife go Dutch when we're at Olive Garden for Never Ending Pasta Bowl. lol

 

I was a teenage delinquent. Sue me.

 

My wife and I frequently argue over leaving an extra dollar for a tip in a restaurant. My wife is the cheap one.

 

I hate the retail world but thrive on Black Friday. Still use the $35 Ab Lounge 2 or the $10 Oster oversized griddle to make pancakes quite often.