Been drinking tonight? Yesh, ossifer

From the Seattle P-I:

A 54-year-old Woodinville woman facing charges of driving with a blood-alcohol concentration nearly six times the legal limit appears to be a former Seattle police detective, court records show.

According to the Washington State Patrol and Seattle P-I records, Deana Jarrett registered an unprecedented 0.47 on a State Patrol breath test April 11 -- the highest level recorded since 1998.

Trooper Jeff Merrill said Jarrett was stopped just before 4 p.m. after colliding with two other vehicles on state Route 520, near the Northeast Redmond Way exit.

More at: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/312263_dui19.html

 

How the fuck was she even breathing?

 

No, she doesn't have a problem.

 

My favorite part is how she needed help to get out of her car. Then promptly started flopping around on the ground.

 

Holy crap. When I saw the story the first time, I assumed the 4 was am.

Holy crap. It was 4 pm. That's some fucking bender.

 

If I'm doing the math properly, and I'm sure I'm not, it would have taken her more than 18 drinks in an hour to get that loaded.

EDIT:

 

Did she need a hat?
(Obscure WKRP reference. It's early.)

 

Cop's gotta hat, I wanna hat.

 

Um, wow. I can't even think of any snarky comment. I'm just that fuckin' blown away.

 

**DING** And they're off!

 

Did you catch the last line of the article? A Bulgarian man had a .914 blood alcohol limit. Holy martini, Batman.

Well, looks like this chick is only the American record holder. No world record---yet.

And word has it that Smirnoff is making inquiries for her to be a spokeslushperson

 

Perhaps the stupidest conversation I've ever been party to was when my genius co-workers at my summer food distribution warehouse job got into a battle of oneupsmanship about who had the greatest DUI.

This woman would beat them, but probably not by much.