Basketball practice is boring

I'd conservatively estimate this is at least the 200th practice I've attended on my current beat. I can count the interesting ones on one hand, including the one where I got bitched at by the former coach.

I'm sitting hear now, pounding my pud, watching the same drills I've seen all season. Whose dick do I need to suck to see a fight? A coach-player shoutfest? Anything?

I'm going to start throwing shit on the court, something needs to be done to liven things up.

 

Discretely pour some water on the court. That should liven things up.

I think football practice is just as boring, if not worse. Though with football you're bound to get a few fights during the season, and watching the team work on trick plays is fairly entertaining.

 

Bill Belichick has no idea why he just kicked his cat again.

 

\You should get together with foaf....

 

Maybe you can switch to a school where they treat basketball practice like a government secret.

I think baseball practice is the most boringest, though.

 

Practice with the team on my beat is rather fun because the coach often serenades his team with four-letter haikus and sonnets.

 

I'm guessing if you actually ask that question out loud, you'll see a fight and a coach & player shoutfest. Of course you'll be the target of both.

 

Here's what you do.

Next time a player dribbles one off his leg, throws one away, bricks a free-throw.....whatever......

Go up to him and say, "Hey......me and you one on one....right here, right now. First one to 10........You win, I run 50 walls.....I win, you write my column about how big of a dumbass you are."

If that doesn't make the kid and/or the coach perk up, well, at least you have the dick thing to fall back on.

 

solid. damn solid.

 

Saw this timekiller on TV the other night...While the players are shooting free throws, quietly walk up to one of them and pull his shorts down right before he shoots. Everybody will love it! Of course, I was watching the Globetrotters, but it was still a big hit.

I've always liked baseball practice. The weather's nice, and with a lot of teams there's plenty of time to make small talk with guys. Around the batting cage, waiting for their turn to hit the field, whatever. You can find out a lot about the inner workings of a team and build some good rapport. Even the benchwarmers can be fun. I got a great feature story out of them a couple years ago, just talking about the shit that goes on in the dugout during a game.

 

If you're pounding your pud don't let anybody see you or we'll be reading about you in the paper tomorrow.

 

You know what I do to get through boring basketball/baseball/softball practices? I think about summers spent weed-eating hills. Of course, that could be more engaging as you tried not to spray slug guts or dog crap all over yourself, but it was damn boring...and a lot harder. After that, practice seems pretty good.