Baseball Gamer (Texas 5A Championship Final)

Critique, por favor

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ROUND ROCK — This was not how the ending had been scripted for the Katy High baseball team.
After a successful campaign that had seen the Tigers rise above the most desperate of situations, this was not how the season was supposed to find closure.
Unfortunately, all that could prevent Katy (37-9-1) from capitalizing on its rise to prominence was The Woodlands, the No. 1 team in the nation.
Despite a late flurry of hits in the latter innings that seemed to imply that another dramatic comeback victory was on deck, the Tigers succumbed to a dominant Highlanders (38-1) club, 5-3, before 6,754 at the Class 5A State Championship title game at Dell Diamond Park in Round Rock, Texas.
“We just gave up too much early,” Tiger coach Tom McPherson said. “We hit a couple of balls right at them. They’ve got a lot of guys who can hit it.
“It was a great game and our kids definitely have nothing to be ashamed of.”
In what has amounted to a dream season of epic proportions for Katy’s baseball program, it seemed that the Woodlands was intent on squandering the Tigers’ momentum early and often.
Katy junior Will Weidig walked the first two batters he faced before surrendering a 3-run home run to Highlander shortstop — and this year’s No. 18 selection by the Philadelphia Phillies in the MLB draft — Kyle Drabek.
Weidig continued to struggle with location in the second inning, giving up an RBI single to senior infielder Derek Smith to put the Woodlands ahead 4-0.
“That team is just stacked,” Weidig said. “They’ve got a lot of talent. I could have made some better pitches but they’re a good team. We did the best we could with our defense and offense.”
For all of his efforts, the Woodlands were patient and deliberate at the plate, taking pitch after pitch in trying to tire Weidig’s arm and hope that McPherson would have to go to his bullpen earlier that expected.
After the nerve-wrecking start, Weidig settled down and retired seven of the next nine batters. He placed the ball better and forced the Highlanders to hit fly balls that were well within the range of Tiger outfielders.
Unfortunately, with Katy’s offense still trying to figure out the stuff of Highlander senior pitcher — and State MVP — Steven Mitchell, Weidig gave up a solo home run to infielder Paul Goldschmidt. After junior outfielder Taylor Grote singled, McPherson relieved a determined Weidig.
Weidig amassed three strikeouts and gave up two walks in his 4 2/3 innings of work.
In an ironic circumstance, Katy seemed motivated that the Highlanders had upset its No. 1 pitcher and picked up its offense in the sixth inning
The Tigers loaded the bases with two outs after Drabek committed two errors by misplaying groundball hits from senior Nick Barrios and junior Bret Atwood.
Carter Jurica boomed a two-run single to right field during the next at-bat and, in a matter of minutes, Katy had cut its deficit to 5-3.
Mitchell, however, regained his composure to accumulate the inning’s final strikeout and defused what seemed to be another Tiger postseason rally.
“Of course we were thinking about another comeback,” senior designated hitter Michael Thaler said. “This team never gives up. It’s unlike any team I’ve ever been a part of. We fight hard every inning.”
Mitchell allowed seven hits and one walk while striking out three in a complete-game effort.
“We just got off to a rough start,” Barrios said. “They’re a great team obviously. No. 1 in the nation. We brought our hearts and left it all on the field.”
While the loss was a combination of both pride and devastation for the four Tiger seniors, it marked as a sign of things to come for such a young ball club with nothing but a bright future in its path.
“It’s exciting to see a freshman catcher (Andrew Stumph) and pitcher (Kiefer Nuncio) finish off a game in the state championship,” Weidig said. “Those young guys are a huge reason why we’re here today.”
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47 games in a high school season?!?! Wow.

I'll read the rest of the story now.

Edit: The lede didn't grab me and beg me to read more, you know?

If this team was so desperate during its rise to the title game, I wanted to feel some of that in the lede and ensuing graphs.

Also, "a dominant Highlanders (38-1) club, 5-3 ... " — don't like where you put the record, especially before the final score. There are other places to to denote 38-1, like the next graph " ... it seemed that the Woodlands (38-1) was intent on squandering ... "

 

Senor o Senorita,

Like Katy High, the story has a bad couple of early innings.

ROUND ROCK — This was not how the ending had been scripted for the Katy High baseball team. How then had it been scripted? Opening with a negative doesn't work often, doesn't work here.
After a successful campaign that had seen the Tigers rise above the most desperate of situations, this was not how the season was supposed to find closure. A lead that opens with this team's history of comeback--running out of rallies this time.
Unfortunately, all that could prevent Katy (37-9-1) from capitalizing on its rise to prominence was The Woodlands, the No. 1 team in the nation.
Despite a late flurry of hits in the latter innings that seemed to imply that another dramatic comeback victory was on deck, the Tigers succumbed to a dominant Highlanders (38-1) club, 5-3, before 6,754 at the Class 5A State Championship title game at Dell Diamond Park in Round Rock, Texas.
“We just gave up too much early,” Tiger coach Tom McPherson said. “We hit a couple of balls right at them. They’ve got a lot of guys who can hit it.
“It was a great game and our kids definitely have nothing to be ashamed of.”
In what has amounted to a dream season of epic proportions for Katy’s baseball program, it seemed that the Woodlands was intent on squandering the Tigers’ momentum early and often.
Katy junior Will Weidig walked the first two batters he faced before surrendering a 3-run home run to Highlander shortstop — and this year’s No. 18 selection by the Philadelphia Phillies in the MLB draft — Kyle Drabek.
Weidig continued to struggle with location in the second inning, giving up an RBI single to senior infielder Derek Smith to put the Woodlands ahead 4-0.

I sorta think sentence two should be your opener and that sentence four would make a good second sentence. Sentence one as it stands really doesn't do much. The number-one team in the nation should be mentioned in the first two grafs I suspect.

But that's just me.

YHS, etc

 

ROUND ROCK — This was not how the ending had been scripted for the Katy High baseball team.


OK, this is a state title game, not just a regular district game. Give me some detail in your lede. Kids crying, hugging, etc. Something to convey the moment.


After a successful campaign that had seen the Tigers rise above the most desperate of situations, this was not how the season was supposed to find closure.
Unfortunately, all that could prevent Katy (37-9-1) from capitalizing on its rise to prominence was The Woodlands, the No. 1 team in the nation.
Despite a late flurry of hits in the latter innings that seemed to imply that another dramatic comeback victory was on deck, the Tigers succumbed to a dominant Highlanders (38-1) club, 5-3, before 6,754 at the Class 5A State Championship title game at Dell Diamond Park in Round Rock, Texas.

A little wordy. Get to the point. Be careful of words like 'succumbed'. Unfortunately, some readers are morons and will be scratching their heads there.


“We just gave up too much early,” Tiger coach Tom McPherson said. “We hit a couple of balls right at them. They’ve got a lot of guys who can hit it.
“It was a great game and our kids definitely have nothing to be ashamed of.”

In what has amounted to a dream season of epic proportions for Katy’s baseball program, it seemed that the Woodlands was intent on squandering the Tigers’ momentum early and often.
Katy junior Will Weidig walked the first two batters he faced before surrendering a 3-run home run to Highlander shortstop — and this year’s No. 18 selection by the Philadelphia Phillies in the MLB draft — Kyle Drabek.

Any stats on Drabek? Or mention he's a son of a former major leaguer?

Weidig continued to struggle with location in the second inning, giving up an RBI single to senior infielder Derek Smith to put the Woodlands ahead 4-0.
“That team is just stacked,” Weidig said. “They’ve got a lot of talent. I could have made some better pitches but they’re a good team. We did the best we could with our defense and offense.”
For all of his efforts, the Woodlands were patient and deliberate at the plate, taking pitch after pitch in trying to tire Weidig’s arm and hope that McPherson would have to go to his bullpen earlier that expected.
After the nerve-wrecking start, Weidig settled down and retired seven of the next nine batters. He placed the ball better and forced the Highlanders to hit fly balls that were well within the range of Tiger outfielders.
Unfortunately, with Katy’s offense still trying to figure out the stuff of Highlander senior pitcher — and State MVP — Steven Mitchell, Weidig gave up a solo home run to infielder Paul Goldschmidt. After junior outfielder Taylor Grote singled, McPherson relieved a determined Weidig.
Weidig amassed three strikeouts and gave up two walks in his 4 2/3 innings of work.
In an ironic circumstance, Katy seemed motivated that the Highlanders had upset its No. 1 pitcher and picked up its offense in the sixth inning
The Tigers loaded the bases with two outs after Drabek committed two errors by misplaying groundball hits from senior Nick Barrios and junior Bret Atwood.
Carter Jurica boomed a two-run single to right field during the next at-bat and, in a matter of minutes, Katy had cut its deficit to 5-3.
Mitchell, however, regained his composure to accumulate the inning’s final strikeout and defused what seemed to be another Tiger postseason rally.
“Of course we were thinking about another comeback,” senior designated hitter Michael Thaler said. “This team never gives up. It’s unlike any team I’ve ever been a part of. We fight hard every inning.”
Mitchell allowed seven hits and one walk while striking out three in a complete-game effort.
“We just got off to a rough start,” Barrios said. “They’re a great team obviously. No. 1 in the nation. We brought our hearts and left it all on the field.”

While the loss was a combination of both pride and devastation for the four Tiger seniors, it marked as a sign of things to come for such a young ball club with nothing but a bright future in its path.

I know what you're saying, but again, kind of wordy. You mention the youth - How did the underclassmen/07 returners do in the game? How did they finish in the regular season?


“It’s exciting to see a freshman catcher (Andrew Stumph) and pitcher (Kiefer Nuncio) finish off a game in the state championship,” Weidig said. “Those young guys are a huge reason why we’re here today.”


You did fine. I generally prefer a little more color, and just a touch of play-by-play in big games.

 

Appreciate all the responses.

tonysoprano, nice help. But my story was biased towards the Katy team because it was for a Katy paper, so hence why there was no elaboration and separate graph for Drabek.

I did a complementary sidebar of the game that focused on the seniors and how they did, as well as another sidebar on the future of the team and what the young kids will bring.

Nice points though, and I appreciate it.

What I gather is the lede could have been stronger and the story was too wordy. Correct?

 

Oh I know bball, but when you've got elite level players it never hurts to throw in a little extra.

And yes, you're correct about your final statement.

 

Plus, you only get to cover a No. 1 team in the nation so many times on a grand stage like this. The Katy folks wouldn't mind if you talked about the No. 1 team a little extra with stats, and with a few quotes by that team about what it was like to play Katy and how gutty the team was, etc.

 

Do not put records before the score. Numbers ahead of the score (notwithstanding the AP hero lead) tend to confuse readers, especially records or halftime scores. Besides, the record is a result of the score, no?

Otherwise, good gamer. It did need some more color and it would have been a great gamer.

 

Makes sense. Thanks. I appreciate it.