Bad Lyrics Hall of Fame

And I'd be remiss if I didn't include these fucktards ...

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the Heart
Closer to the Heart

The Blacksmith and the Artist
Reflect it in their art
Forge their creativity
Closer to the Heart
Yeah, it's closer to the Heart

Philosophers and Ploughmen
Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality
Closer to the Heart
Yeah, it's closer to the Heart

You can be the Captain and
I will draw the Chart
Sailing into destiny
Closer to the Heart

Read that and tell me they don't suck out loud.

 

This stands out to me as perhaps the single most bizarre famous lyric. What the hell is a pompitous? And why does it induce people to call others Maurice?

 

"Uncle Albert" is so whimsical and great. I'm a sucker for Paul McCartney.

And Stoney, it's a reference to "Enter Maurice," an earlier Steve Miller Band song.

 

I always thought Maurice & The Zodiacs recorded a song called Pompitous Of Love, but apparently not.

I love it. Sounds exactly like something a stoner would say.

 

I'm a sucker for McCartney too, but I can't stand that song. It's too whimsical.

I would've included Wonderful Christmas Time, but he's admitted he's embarrassed he recorded that song, so I'll cut Sir Paul some slack.

 

I even like "Wonderful Christmastime," the first few times I hear it during the holidays every year.

I'll let this all drop, so long as you don't go trashing "Another Day."

 

No worries. Love that song. Danced to My Love at my wedding too.

 

Hey ladies, this guy sung this...



I put my hand on your stocking, I was movin' nice and slow
Let my fingers do the walking, and there ain't far to go
Don't tell me "I don't wanna be a girl like that"
Do you wanna see a grown man cry?
You don't wanna be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)

Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, t-t-t-t-tease me
Take it easy, hug and squeeze
A naughty naughty, naughty, I'm a naughty naughty guy

Bedroom eyes, they undress me, take me, cut me to the bone
Lace and satin pressed against me, should we call a chaperone
Don't tell me "I don't wanna be a girl like that"
Do you wanna see a grown man cry
You don't wanna be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)

Naughty naughty, cute and horny, t-t-t-t-tease me
Take it easy, hug and squeeze me, love outta line
With your hair hung down, and your dress ridin' high
And your eyes burning hot like the sun
Kiss me hard, squeeze me tight, gonna love you alright
Cause I'm a naughty, naughty, naughty guy

(Solo)

You don't wanna be a girl like that
Baby this could be the first time (this could be the first time)
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, t-t-t-t-tease me
Take it easy, hug and squeeze
A naughty naughty, naughty, I'm a naughty naughty (guy)
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, t-t-t-t-tease me
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, love outta line
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, t-t-t-tease me... (to fade)

 

That's not as bad as ...

"I wanna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels ..."

 

"Spaced Cowboy", "Gangster of Love", and "Maurice" are all references to earlier Steve Miller songs. "Pompatus" is a reference to "The Letter" by The Medallions.

(around 1:57)

Miller misheard the lyric, it's actually "puppetutes".

Speaking of Miller, this part of "Fly Like an Eagle" has always bugged me.

Feed the babies who don't have enough to eat
Shoe the children with no shoes on their feet
House the people living in the street
Oh, there's a solution
I wanna fly like an eagle...


Flying like an eagle isn't going to solve any of that, Steve.

 

You know Bernie Taupin had ingested something illegal when he wrote this. And yes, I could sing it from memory back in the '70s:

Oh ma cameo molesting
Kee pa a poorer for tea
Solar prestige a gammon
Lantern or turbert paw kwee

Solar prestige a gammon
Kool kar kyrie kay salmon
Hair ring molassis abounding
Common lap kitch sardin a poor floundin

Cod ee say oo pay a loto
My zeta prestige toupay a floored
Ray indee pako a gammon
Solar prestige a pako can nord

 

No, this is awesome because these are words of a band that was never not stoned out of its fucking mind.