Bad Lyrics Hall of Fame

I was hoping when I read this thread that this song would be cited as the top offender, and I was not disappointed.

The kicker of the whole thing is, that whole line sets up what you'd expect to become a conflict between Billy Mack and the two fugitives...but no, the whole thing ends completely anticlimactically in the very next verse:

Bobbie Sue, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Billy Joe caught up to her the very next day
They got the money, hey
You know they got away
They headed down south and they're still running today

So, even if you forgive that "taxes" line as a faux pas just so he can introduce the detective character in that verse and build up to some sort of climax, he completely undermines it by having him catch up to them and...nothing. They get away, who knows or cares how.

Just crap writing for the whole song, really.

 

I told you not to wander round in the dark.
I told you bout the swans, that they live in the park.
Then I told you 'bout our kid, now he's married to Mabel.

 

Excellent catch. Didn't even pick up on that. I stop dead on the taxes line.

There's some doozies in the Taupin/John catalog. Good and bad.

 

MacArthur Park gets a lot of deserved grief for the lyrics about cake, but really, the whole song is hilariously bad.

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages

And were pressed in love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it '
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers, by the trees

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it '
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it

I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life, you'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky

And after all the loves of my life
Oh, after all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you and wondering why

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down S
omeone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it '
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

Oh no, oh no, no, no, oh no

I somehow never paid attention to the "And were pressed in love's hot, fevered iron ...Like a striped pair of pants."

How God awful.

 

Journey- Don't Stop Believing.

"Born and raised in South Detroit"

Someone needed an atlas while writing this because of course south of Detroit is Windsor, ON

 

I wanna lick the platter,
the gravy doesn't matter.
It's a cold bowl of chili
when love lets you down,
But it's the neighbor's wife
I'm after.

-- Neil Young

 

Here's multiple counts of bad lyrics perpetrated by Train:

"She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo, reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, ay, ay, ay."
"I'm so obsessed/my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest."
"Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply Hefty bag to hold my l, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, love."

 

While i actually love this song and this underrated band, the snails line is terrible. Just terrible especially when it comes before a great line about Cliff Richard.


God gave rock'n'roll to you, gave rock'n'roll to you
Put it in the soul of ev'ryone
God gave rock'n'roll to you, gave rock'n'roll to you
Save rock'n'roll for ev'ryone

Love your friend and love your neighbour
Love your life and love your labour
No, it's never too late to change your mind
Don't step on snails, don't climb in trees
Love Cliff Richard but please don't tease
It's never too late to change your mind

God gave rock'n'roll to you, gave rock'n'roll to you
Put it in the soul of ev'ryone
God gave rock'n'roll to you, gave rock'n'roll to you
Save rock'n'roll for ev'ryone

If you wanna be a singer or play guitar
Man, you gotta sweat or you won't get far
And it's never too late to work 9 to 5
And if you're young and you'll never be old
Music can make your dreams unfold
How good it feels to be alive

God gave rock'n'roll to you, gave rock'n'roll to you
Put it in the soul of ev'ryone
God gave rock'n'roll to you -
To every boy he gave a song to be sung -
Gave rock'n'roll to you
Save rock'n'roll for ev'ryone

 

I love Bruce Springsteen but...

You put on your coat
I’ll put on my hat
You put out the dog
I’ll put out the cat

 

I can't stand Elton John's music, but I believe it's 'sculptor' not 'sculpture.'
Still a terrible lyric, but the noun change and different punctuation helps a little.

 

Our 10-year-old always wants to turn the radio to the classic rock station when he gets in my truck.

Today, Neil Diamond's "I am I said" had me scratching my head.

Then the kiddo turns to me and asks, "What's that about."

And, before I could answer, "He sounds really sad."

 

Everyone's watching, to see what you will do
Everyone's looking at you, oh
Everyone's wondering, will you come out tonight
Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go

Everyone's looking to see if it was you
Everyone wants you to come through
Everyone's hoping it'll all work out
Everyone's waiting they're holding out

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go

(quick break)

You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go

You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go