Baby three_bags IS HERE!!!

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

I think you and Bubs make for a fascinating look into the human psyche.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

I'm like the goddman Answer Man over here.
Make sure you know what channel ESPN is BEFORE labor starts. Kind of tacky to ask during. It's going to be a while. Why should you both be tortured?

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

Don't bother, dude. She'll puke it back up. Personally, I'd rather have my wife go on an empty stomach as opposed to watching her evacuate the contents of it during labor.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

Seriously. It's some of the best advice anyone can give.
Don't rush in. Make sure you eat. Make sure SHE eats.

(She won't puke if it's a long labor.)

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

Can you get her to take a long walk? Maybe shovel the walk or mow the grass? That should speed things up.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

My sister claims sex speeds up labor nicely, but I think she just likes to brag.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

Any other questions?
Make sure you bring the infant-safe carseat. Otherwise they won't let you take the little booger home.
Oh, and enjoy. You'll, never, ever, ever forget it. Or sleep, again.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

I hate to get graphic and hate to let my ignorance shine ...

But if it's a long labor, and she's trying to eliminate bodily wastes (such as food, post-consumption) through the same orifice as the baby's exiting, wouldn't the doctor be owed some combat pay?

And what SC said. Supposedly hospitals encourage sex if the mother is past-due.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

I won't argue that. But I'd be more interested in chatting with fishwrapper for 20 minutes. Chances are, by the sounds of it, his wife won't miss him much.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

We could probably hook that up.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

To avoid getting graphic, I'll use the polite, clinical terms. Most women do urinate and deficate during labor -- it's hard not to when every muscle in that region of your body is pushing that hard. And many women do vomit, too, especially if they need an epidural. My wife vomited during one of her deliveries and was incredibly nauseous and nearly did so during the other.

Labor ain't pretty, folks, but the end result is obviously well worth it.

 

Re: Baby three_bags may be on the way

Feces and babies. Two of my favorite things.