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Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by imjustagirl, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    OK, I hate this kind of shit. I really do. I'm amazed by what people will post about themselves and their families. But, it is New Year's Eve - though I'm not drinking tonight so I don't have that for an excuse.

    Two quick ones: The Queen and I are busy when she suddenly figures out there's a third hand on her. A little one. Our son. He's maybe three. What are you guys doing? Uh, uh, I'm giving Daddy a hug. Can I have a hug, too? Sure. (hugs). And he comes back with: I want one like you gave Daddy, where the bed bounces.

    Fast forward a few months. The Queen and I are busy again, probably for the first time since. Much more traumatic for her than the kid. We figure out there's someone else in the room. My son has one of his little buddies over for the night. Kid looks right at us and says, "My mommy and daddy do that, too. Can I have some water?"

    His mom, by the way, was and is still quite hot. I was tempted to ask questions but I refrained.

    Kids: Get this through your thick, young heads. Your mommies and daddies do it. I told my son when he moved home (temporarily) that he wasn't about to cramp our empty nest style and to move the hell back out if he couldn't deal with it.
     
  2. pallister

    pallister Guest

    This thread would have been better had IJAG walked in on one of Hermie's Big Adventures.
     
  3. Killick

    Killick Well-Known Member

    Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

    Re: Dick names... I once had a friend at the college paper who was quite proud to tell anyone and everyone that his was named "Phil." Yep. Classy guy.
     
  4. JakeandElwood

    JakeandElwood Well-Known Member

    That's not a conversation I can top. Sorry, IJAG.
     
  5. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    I've got two names for mine, depending on how I'm feeling: Screech and The Fonz.
     
  6. lono

    lono Active Member

    Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

    Dad to Mrs. Lono: "When he brought you home for the first time and I saw you weren't a blond with big tits, I told Lono's mom, 'Uh, oh, he could be serious about this one.' "
     
  7. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Shee-it, I wish I had only a conversation story. I walked in on my parents when I was 16. Got sent home early from my shift at McDonalds, didn't knock on their bedroom door and voila.
     
  8. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    I'm definitely in silver medal territory compared to IJAG's opus, but my dad and I discussed which of my cousins we thought was the gayest.

    I'm just glad my name didn't come up.
     
  9. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    Hi, kids!

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  10. PCLoadLetter

    PCLoadLetter Well-Known Member

    Easy conversation in my family: I have a distant cousin known to the family only as "Gay Vincie."
     
  11. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    "...like you gave daddy, where the bed bounces."

    Laughed hard enough to bring tears. People are staring at me.
     
  12. Smasher_Sloan

    Smasher_Sloan Active Member

    For future tellings, say you said, "You want fries with that?"
     
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