Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean?

Awesome.

Sad update: I assumed it was just some off the cuff comment. No. My mom tells me that's been the name "since they got married" because she won't admit they ever did anything before their wedding night.

Me: I thought it was a joke.
Mom: Nope. I can't believe you didn't know.
Me: WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I KNOW?
Mom: He talks about it to everyone, I don't know how you escaped.

 

Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

The fact that you are as blessedly normal as you are will puzzle psychologists for the next 200 years.

 

Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

Just my $.02, but when you tell your father, "Maybe you could whore out mom," you automatically have qualified for a guest spot on Jerry Springer.

 

That's really nice of you to say, Fenian.

Might need to sandpaper your nose now.

 

What in the bloody hell is wrong with you?

 

Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

This is why I will adore you forever and always.

 

Nothing. Just drunk is all.

 

Have another.
But do not name your penis, "Hermie."
That one's taken.

 

The good ones always are.

 

No one else has any awkward parent conversations to share? I'm alone in my hell?

 

Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

Yes.

 

Re: Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean

You think anyone's going to try and top your story about how you and the folks talked about your Dad's nickname for his dick?
Until chef takes off another toe, you're alone on this island, I fear.