Awkward conversations with the parents, aka How do I scrub my eardrums clean?

I love your family. So glad it's not mine.

 

I went with my girlfriend, her mother and some friends out to the wine country in California once. At a restaurant, the mother starts telling about the time her husband came home early from work.
"He said to me, why are you wearing only an apron?" the mother said.
"MOM!" says my girlfriend.
"I says, 'I figured you might want to stay a little while," the mom says as the rest of us begin to crack up."
"LALALALALALALA!" says the girlfriend.
"We used to like to do it in the morning," says the mom as the rest of us are red-faced with laughter. The mom was beaming like a comedian who had just killed.
My girlfriend was mad at her mom for disclosing this in the restaurant, but I was close behind, especially because I giggled at the memory for the rest of the day. We broke up 10 years ago, but that story never fails to make me laugh.