Attention Mike311gd, Topanga is a lush...

Hmmm. Maybe she and Cory broke up. Unless she goes running into the arms of Shawn, I'm thinking I've got a shot.

 

Only after me.

 

I think Minkus wants a shot too.

 

What the fuck, Topey. What about the kids? What about your standards? What about your beliefs? What about me?

Though you never really took a stance against drinking on "Boy Meets World," other than telling Cory you "didn't like what you saw" when he was drinking with Shawn at that house party during senior year -- even though he was drinking because you dumped him like a six-pound shit in the toilet (which is a whole other story ...) -- I always thought ... no, I always believed you were above this level of irresponsible behavior.

And sure, maybe me reprimanding you after I've been drinking casually for the last nine hours -- then drove myself home with my brother-in-law cop in the passenger seat -- might seem a wee bit hypocritical. But I don't see million and millions of people spanning every generation looking up to me for direction and hope. But they do look to you, Topanga. And you've got to hold yourself to a higher standard than the mere mortals. No, maybe you're not perfect, and of course you're not the second coming of Christ -- as far as I know, that's still Zack Morris (who also was accepted into Yale, by the way) -- but you're not too far behind.

Please don't drop to Paris' or Britney's or Lindsay's or the God for-fucking-saken Olsen twins' level. You're better than that, and you know it. It's up to you to continue to make us believe it, too. Because if we don't have Topanga Lawrence to look to each and every day, what's the point of waking up in the morning? ... I can't think of a reason, either.

This is a sad day, indeed. And not just for me. But for your friends, your family, your fans, the country and all of humankind. We haven't lost faith in you, Topanga, but please don't bring us any further down this terrible path. I'm afraid we can't take another hit to our collective junk.

 

That was awesome.

 

That is why I addressed this thread to you.

 

I appreciate it. We're not doing well in the ABC Sitcoms Camp tonight. (And by "we," I mean me, though when my friends get the text messages, they'll be muy upseto, too-o). There is a suicide watch in place, and I've had to forfeit my shoelaces and belt. But we'll get through it. Hopefully.

 

You've got some issues, Mike, but they're easily the most entertaining issues of anyone on this board. Seriously. You should be proud, though I do think the Olsen twins are a little bit better off than Lindsay and Brittany ...

 

Thanks, W-b. Shall I start on my issues with the Olsen twins? Do you really want that to happen?

 

Nah, I'm getting ready to go to sleep, unless you want to post it and allow me to read it in the morning like a toddler waking up to his first Christmas ...

Have you talked to your newspaper about writing a TV column? Might be worth doing even in your spare time, if they'd let you - for clips. Of course, they would probably prefer someone who won't confuse the tv and the real life personas ...

 

so you're good with sisterly love?

 

I have absolutely no problem with the Olsen twins, just as long they're not in a movie I'm watching, singing some song or sitting on Uncle Jesse's lap - worst show ever. Other than that, they're great.