Asking The Father's Permission For Marriage: Old and done, or traditional?

If you like and respect the pops, it's nice.

 

I didn't ask my FIL for permission.

He likely would have said, "No."

Not really. I like my ex-FIL and MIL, and they like(d) me.

 

A friend of my got engaged 2 weeks ago. Her fiance asked her folks first. I'll ask when i get to that point

 

It depends on who the old man is. If he's still old school, go and ask him for his blessing. If he doesn't think it's a big deal, go on and pop the question to the fiancee.

Some dads think it's nice that someone asks them for a blessing to ask their daughters' hand in marriage. It shows respect to them and their daughters. It's like an affirmation of trust.

 

I didn't -- thought that it was antiquated and somewhat sexist.

My father-in-law, a bleeding heart's bleeding heart, who hasn't said a cross word to me in the 10 years that I've dated/lived with/was engaged to/married to his daughter, wished that I would have.

 

I think it's a matter of respect to ask the parents first, assuming that your significant other has a good relationship with her folks.

 

Mine didn't.
Only after we were married did she get back on terms with her parents.
I like to think I had a little say in that matter.

I really don't think it is at all necessary to ask permission, and think the custom likely stems from way back when dowries were paid.
Besides, if the future FIL says no, chances are the couple will elope and really piss off the ol' boy.

 

My wife is wearing her mother's ring who has since passed. Since the ring was in the father's possession...

I would have asked her dad anyway.

I forget to get on one knee, though. I popped when we were walking the dogs in the park.

The one thing I did do right was do it in a place that will always be there. It's nice to say something when we drive past.

 

I did, and while it didn't work out, I'm glad I did.

He was very good to me.

 

Congrats to Sis FH!

And have any of you considered asking the WOMAN what she wants? Your relationship ain't about her dad. She may have strong feelings about you asking her father, one way or the other. Assuming your proposal doesn't come out of left field (and it shouldn't), consult her about the need for a parental blessing before the formal proposal.

 

But that would require good communication. Why have that? ???