Ask Overwhelmed FB

Just lock them in the basement with a vat of M&Ms, and take the Missus out for a drink.

 

Start talking about politics, get their minds right for 2012.

 

First, don't let them see the fear in your eyes. Once those 14- to 15- year olds smell fear, you're done for.

Keep the duct tape within reach. Don't be afraid to use it.

Show them a locked door and inform them the remains of the last teens to step out of line reside behind it.

If all else fails, I'll be happy to ground their sorry butts till they're grandparents.

 

I say get Jones over with his circular saw. That'll lay down the law...

 

Say hello to my little friend.

 

Do ya suppose I should have reminded F_B to keep the duct tape within his reach but OUT of the reach of the little heathens teenie boppers?

I have this horrible image of him duct-taped to a tree whilst the costumed delinquents dance around.

 

Got a hot tub?

 

Ah yes. This is why I came back to SJ. Nothing like a good ole how-to for statuatory rape gag.

(Sniff) I missed you guys!

 

Has anyone heard from Fenian? He never showed up for his Guinness.

 

He's watching DeGrassi on Nick and is about to rip Kidz Jam VI on to his iPod. He's also involved in yet another heated debate: which of the Naked Brothers Band is the awesomest.

Alas ... we've lost him.

 

Fenian, don't take this the wrong way but are you out of your fucking mind? A house full of 9th graders?

You should have told me this was going down I would have sent one of our wild coyote packs your way. They could have thinned the herd, so to speak.

Be strong my brother, be strong. And as someone else said, don't let them smell the fear or you'll wake in up an alley missing a kidney.