Are you where you envisioned yourself to be?

Considering I've spent the past six months looking for the right job outside of newspapers, I'd have to answer, no, I'm not where I envisioned myself to be. I trust I'm not alone in that feeling.

At the same time, I never had particular detailed plans in mind when I started in this industry. I hoped I would have been working at a bigger paper earning a little bit more money at this point in my career, but then I would have missed out on some of the things life had in mind for me during this particular phase. So I may not be where I'd hoped to be exactly, but it's all part of the journey, right?

 

Exactly where I wanted to be. Met all my goals to date. And I met them within the timelines I wanted. Now, I want out of the business all together.

 

I'd say I'm where I envisioned myself to be. When I was in college I figured my first job would be at a paper 50K or less circ and I would be covering high schools.

I'm 1.5 years removed from college and I'm at a 30K paper covering high schools, small colleges and minor league sports.

 

Speaking purely professionally here: I think if you'd asked me seven years ago, when I was starting my career, where I'd want to be when I was 30 (which I just turned), I probably would have said about where I am today. Maybe a slightly better paper, but in the ballpark.
Problem is, the business has changed so much in that time, and so has my view of what I want to do in it. So, while I still like what I do at work every day, I don't see much of a future in it any more. And even if I'm somehow still doing it in 20 years, I think I'll feel disappointed, like I could have done better.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, set goals, but don't be married to them. Because circumstances will change. And so will you.

 

I can see exactly what Cadet is saying about feeling satisfied, but there lies my problem. I'm not in general a shiny, happy, glass-is-half-full person, and though I work on that, the frustration which mounts exacerbates the situation.

On one hand, I should be happy with having jobs - especially given the current economy - and not drowning in bills and financial troubles. On the other hand, both jobs bore me to tears, are not challenging, a supervisor at one is a scumbag who think pigeonholing qualified employees is OK, has already lost a battle to me and is griding an axe over it and this area is not what it should be. Nothing against the area or the people - they all seem to be at least OK, most better than that - but my life, goals and dreams are elsewhere.

It's a choice I made. It's what I should be doing, yet it's making me miserable. I've been looking for a serious sign - ANY sign - for a long time, and I don't see it anywhere. I don't think I'm mortified to take a risk - only sorta scared - and I can rationalize that I'm here for a bigger purpose. But for how long? And can I put up with the dynamic which can sometimes reach poisonous proportions?

Thanks for listening to my childish, ridiculous pity party. Carry on ... again, sorry Rumple ... just that I'm in a serious life dilemma. And if this makes any sense, the harder I look for answers and solutions, the more frustrating, vague and hopeless it seems.

 

I've met my career goals, and I now hate my life.

Meeting goals ain't all its alleged to be.

 

No. Nowhere near it.

 

Yes and no. ???

 

Probably right about where I thought I would be, in terms of what I covered. Coming out of school, I was an idiot about how the industry worked and what were normal expectations for advancement. Some of that was my own confidence/cockiness, and also not having anyone in a really average j-school to sit me down and explain shit.

 

Elliotte, then you'll never be disappointed.

Seriously, though: I've never understood the idea of being "exactly where I want to be." I mean, I guess you might find yourself in a place that feels good at that particular moment, but I can't imagine being one of those people who could do what they're doing right now for the next thirty years and feel satisfied. Like, you'd climbed the first mountain you saw and decided you never needed to climb another? That's a weird idea to me.

So, to answer the question... When I was 25, I bet a co-worker $100 that I'd be at Sports Illustrated by the time I was 30. I was probably happier to be where I am today, but I still paid the guy the $100: I wasn't where I'd envisioned I'd be. Now, the rest of my life looks different. As each new hurdle or opportunity comes, I've recalibrated. My expectations change. My goals change. I always want more.

That could explain why I don't sleep much -- I'm either working, planning, scheming, or masturbating to Elliotte, pretending his microphone is my hard penis.

 

AT least this part of that sentence, we have in common.