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Are Apes People, Too?

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Write-brained, May 6, 2007.

  1. Animal rights activists want a 26-year-old Austrian chimp named Hiasl declared a "person" so that he may own property and receive donations to help keep him alive.

    Hope he's ready to pay taxes, too.

    Turns out a handful of countries are considering declaring apes as people.

    This raises all sorts of issues: Some countries might consider apes humans but we don't guarantee the same right to fetuses .... hmmm. Would we no longer have the right to put apes in cages? And if one of them throws its own poop at a human, would it be charged with assault?



    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070504/ap_on_re_eu/chimp_challenge

    From AP: Austria isn't the only country where primate rights are being debated. Spain's parliament is considering a bill that would endorse the Great Ape Project, a Seattle-based international initiative to extend "fundamental moral and legal protections" to apes.

    If Hiasl gets a guardian, "it will be the first time the species barrier will have been crossed for legal 'personhood,'" said Jan Creamer, chief executive of Animal Defenders International, which is working to end the use of primates in research.

    Paula Stibbe, a Briton who teaches English in Vienna, petitioned a district court to be Hiasl's legal trustee. On April 24, Judge Barbara Bart rejected her request, ruling Hiasl didn't meet two key tests: He is neither mentally impaired nor in an emergency.

    Although Bart expressed concern that awarding Hiasl a guardian could create the impression that animals enjoy the same legal status as humans, she didn't rule that he could never be considered a person.

    Martin Balluch, who heads the Association Against Animal Factories, has asked a federal court for a ruling on the guardianship issue.

    "Chimps share 99.4 percent of their DNA with humans," he said. "OK, they're not homo sapiens. But they're obviously also not things — the only other option the law provides."
     
  2. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    As a proud native of Seattle, it embarrasses me greatly to see this as an initiative from there. Hopefully it is from someone living in Kent or Puyallup, but I am sure it is coming from Seattle.
     
  3. Chi City 81

    Chi City 81 Guest

    [​IMG]

    Heresy!
     
  4. Herbert Anchovy

    Herbert Anchovy Active Member

    Watch the documentary on Koko sometime and tell me that ain't a person.
     
  5. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

     
  6. JackyJackBN

    JackyJackBN Guest

    Fremont, no doubt.

    [​IMG]

    I have watched the documentary on Koko twice, and I'm telling you, that's not a person. That said, if the current news turns out to be true, she's superior to Julio Mateo.
     
  7. Herbert Anchovy

    Herbert Anchovy Active Member

    JackyJack, Koko is so human she tried to coerce handlers to show her their tits, producing multiple (!) sexual harrassment lawsuits.

    And speaking of subhumans gesticulating for their missing bananas, that damned gorilla is smarter than anyone I ever worked for in journalism.
     
  8. Troy: What's wrong with me?

    Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.

    Troy: I want a second opinion.

    Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy
     
  9. Boognish

    Boognish Member

    I love legitimate theater.
     
  10. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    PART MAN, PART MONKEY
    by Bruce Springsteen

    They prosecuted some poor sucker in these United States
    For teaching that man descended from the apes
    They coulda settled that case without a fuss or fight
    If they'd seen me chasin' you, sugar, through the jungle last night
    They'da called in that jury and a one two three said
    Part man, part monkey, definitely

    Well the church bell rings from the corner steeple
    Man in a monkey suit swears he'll do no evil
    Offers his lover's prayer but his soul lies
    Dark and driftin' and unsatisfied
    Well hey bartender, tell me whaddaya see
    Part man, part monkey, looks like to me

    Well the night is dark, the moon is full
    The flowers of romance exert their pull
    We talk awhile, my fingers slip
    I'm hard and crackling like a whip

    Well did God make man in a breath of holy fire
    Or did he crawl on up out of the muck and mire
    Well the man on the street believes what the bible tells him so
    Well you can ask me, mister, because I know
    Tell them soul-suckin' preachers to come on down and see
    Part man, part monkey, baby that's me
     
  11. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    APEMAN
    by the Kinks

    I think I'm sophisticated
    cos I'm living my life like a good homosapien
    But all around me everybody's multiplying
    Till they're walking round like flies man
    So I'm no better than the animals sitting in their cages
    In the zoo man
    cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees
    I am an ape man
    I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized
    cos I'm a strict vegetarian
    But with the over-population and inflation and starvation
    And the crazy politicians
    I don't feel safe in this world no more
    I don't want to die in a nuclear war
    I want to sail away to a distant shore and make like an ape man
    I'm an ape man, Im an ape ape man
    I'm an ape man Im a king kong man Im ape ape man
    I'm an ape man
    cos compared to the sun that sits in the sky
    Compared to the clouds as they roll by
    Compared to the bugs and the spiders and flies
    I am an ape man
    In man's evolution he has created the cities and
    The motor traffic rumble, but give me half a chance
    And I'd be taking off my clothes and living in the jungle
    cos the only time that I feel at ease
    Is swinging up and down in a coconut tree
    Oh what a life of luxury to be like an ape man
    I'm an ape, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
    I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
    I'm an ape man
    I look out my window, but I can't see the sky
    cos the air pollution is fogging up my eyes
    I want to get out of this city alive
    And make like an ape man
    Come and love me, be my ape man girl
    And we will be so happy in my ape man world
    I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
    I'm a king kong man, Im a voo-doo man
    I'm an ape man
    I'll be your tarzan, youll be my jane
    I'll keep you warm and you'll keep me sane
    And we'll sit in the trees and eat bananas all day
    Just like an ape man
    I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man, I'm an ape man
    I'm a king kong man, I'm a voo-doo man
    I'm an ape man.
    I don't feel safe in this world no more
    I don't want to die in a nuclear war
    I want to sail away to a distant shore
    And make like an ape man.
     
  12. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    and the argument that man and apes are not related

    NO MISSING LINK
    by Dan Bern

    They looked for the missing link
    There's no missing link
    They'll never find the missing link
    There's no missing link
    We're not something
    You can figure out with an equation
    We are the genetic mutation

    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey
    Aliens came and fucked the monkey
    They fucked the monkey
    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey

    Darwin tried explaining it
    Darwin the best he could
    Evolution, pretty theory
    But how could Darwin know?

    That aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey
    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey

    How explain fax machines?
    How else explain computer enhancement?
    How else explain fiber optics?
    How else explain Mozart?

    We do not belong here
    This planet was a terrarium
    Intergalactic broken home
    Have to go outer space
    And one day find our Daddy

    How else explain pay at the pump?
    How else explain limited access freeways?
    How else explain digital remastering?
    Plastic flowers, linoleum, beefalo, Michael Jordan?
    Religion?
    Astronomy?
    Astrology
    That looks to the stars

    We do not belong here
    This planet was a terrarium
    Seven billion bastards
    Screaming for our Daddy

    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey
    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey
    Aliens came and f**ked the monkey
    They f**ked the monkey
     
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