Apparently, I'm now a shareholder in ... *gasp* ... Wal-Mart

Do I have to travel to Bentonville, Ark., to say something? Because I'll let Wal-Mart conquer the world before I willingly travel to Arkansas again.

 

If you have a piece of paper representing said share, take it to your local Wal-Mart, throw it on the ground, unzip your shorts, and piss on it, a la Lou Brown.

 

What the hell is a "squiggly?"

 

Early leader in the clubhouse.

 

I think it's the dash between Wal and Mart.

 

You only have to go there if you want to see the free shareholders' concerts.

Otherwise, just write a letter. Start it with "As a shareholder ..."

 

Yeah, I'm sure that will hold about as much sway as letters I get that begin, "As a subscriber ..."

 

It's what I do.

 

The Walmart meetings in Bentonville are as mentioned a sight to behold.

Guests (suppliers and other riff raff) can observe from a guest box.

There is very much a political rally feel which even as I type this I realize is a massive understatement.

The respective region's numbers are announced and it becomes quite obvious who or what region the pressure is on to get the numbers up.

 

You never know until you try.

 

If gramps really liked you and your wife he'd be sliding you an annual share of Berkshire Hathaway instead.