Apparently, I'm now a shareholder in ... *gasp* ... Wal-Mart

So says my wife. Her grandfather (mother's father) apparently got in on the ground floor and has thousands of shares in the company. He gives his grandchildren one share every year for Christmas (my wife has 20 or so, I think). It appears I was added to the list this past Christmas. He gave my wife her usual share, and also gave me a share.

I'm now a Wal-Mart shareholder. Fuck.

What do I do? I've been secretly hoping for the company's demise for years. Do I continue to fight the good fight (a fight that accomplishes absolutely nothing, by the way), or should I be selfish and root for Wal-Mart's continued prosperity?

 

Have you considered murder/suicide?
Take out gramps and spup, then off yourself.

 

You get yours! Go Wal-mart!

Meanwhile, I'll continue to root for ExxonMobil to prosper, as I have several shares of stock in the company.

 

Go to the shareholder's meeting and raise hell.

Maybe you'll get tasered.

 

Well now I'm torn. I used to enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart.

 

That's cold.

 

Hell, with the amount I spend there, you and spup could go on a cruise on my portion alone.

 

Because of your newly acquired status, demand to be a greeter for a day.

Preferably at one of the 24 hour stores and ask for the midnight till seven shift.

 

Unfortunately, no. The reason the topic came up was because the dividend check came in. A whopping 50 cents. Huzzah! I'm thinking of selling my share and buying stock in Media General, or maybe 500 shares in JRC. What could possibly go wrong?

 

It's only one share. I'm pretty sure you can continue to root for their demise and not feel bad about it.

 

Good for you doc. It's a profitable company. I wouldn't spend one minute pondering whether I had become what I loathe. Virtually any large company you can own stock in is going to have similar skeletons to those in Wal-Mart's closet. Take comfort in the fact that you hate them and they're financially supporting you.

Now, since you're in ownership, I wonder if you can do anything about the company's stance on eminent domain laws?

 

Dude, it's one share; no need to compromise your ideals and values over that.

Now, if gramps ever comes through and drops hundreds or perhaps, a thou shares on you, well, you may want to consider hanging a picture of Sam Walton in the living room.